Chilton. Rory passes Philllipppe who is gossiping with someone that he heard that Paris' father actually has a second family in Paris. Max stops Rory and stammers. He compliments her Dickinson paper. Rory starts to go, but Max stammers around and finally asks Rory if Lorelai is coming to Parents Day. Rory lets Max suffer a bit (stammering about needing to know how many cookies to reserve on the list) and then tells him that Lorelai is indeed coming. He says that Lorelai hasn't been returning his calls. Rory says that he should probably put down four cookies on the Cookie RSVP list. See? Succinct. This scene was actually seventeen hours long. He couldn't be more obvious in the middle of the hallway in gossip central, by the way. Couldn't he ask to see her in class or something to ask about her mom? Gah. How mortifying.
Lorelai opens a box and finds pizza. Rory asks how old the pizza is. Lorelai isn't sure what Tuesday it is from. Rory tells her to toss the box. Lorelai continues cleaning out the refrigerator as Rory sits at the table and explains the Paris gossip happening at the school. Paris' dad is a "big-wig" at a pharmaceutical company, so the entire divorce is getting write-ups in the paper. Lorelai asks how sordid it is. Rory says that it falls somewhere between Rick James and Hugh Grant. Lorelai says that if it were happening to anyone else in the universe but Paris, she might feel bad. Rory confesses that she does feel a bit bad for Paris, since the whole school is talking about her. Lorelai says that Rory feels that way because she's the nicest kid to ever walk the planet. Rory tells Lorelai about how Fraulein and Louisa said hello to her the other day. "Wow! You're the new Heather," Lorelai says through a French Fry. I love any kind of Heather joke. I really do. Lorelai finds the pizza box that is older than the one she threw away and tries to pull the other pizza back out of the trash until Rory stops her. They call each other "Oscar" and "Felix," but Rory wins.
Rory spots the Proust on the table and asks how Lorelai's reading is coming. Lorelai says she finished. Rory remarks that it took her forever to read that book and that she had to check it out ten times. Lorelai says that she finished, "the first sentence." She says that she's really busy and all. She asks if Rory can return the book for her. Rory says that Lorelai can just bring the book with her tomorrow. "Tomorrow?" At Parents Day. Lorelai says she's not sure whether she can make Parents Day. She says she has a thing at the Inn. Rory asks what thing Lorelai has. Lorelai says something about little men and flags to the point where it sounds like she has a Time-Life Chess Set arriving at the Inn tomorrow. Lorelai says she doesn't think she can go to Parents Day so she'd rather Rory just returned the book to him tomorrow. Rory asks why Lorelai can't return the book the next time she sees Max. Lorelai says she doesn't know when that's going to be. Rory figures out that Lorelai is breaking up with Max. She says that he hasn't heard from her in a while and now Lorelai wants her to return his book. Lorelai asks how Rory knew that Lorelai hadn't called him and is angry that Max was asking Rory about her. Rory asks why Lorelai is breaking up with him. Lorelai angrily says that it's not working out. Rory says that Lorelai looked so happy. They begin to argue about why Lorelai won't go to Parents Day and that the "thing at the Inn" isn't really true at all. Rory's upset that Lorelai is lying to her and trying to get her to do her dirty work with Max and storms off. Door slam. Lorelai pulls the nasty pizza from the trash out of spite. Commercial.