Across town, Lorelai runs into Luke. He's just walked out of the Chat Club. That's "chat," as in French for "cat." Luke tries to sound like he's in a hurry and has to go, but Lorelai wants to know what Luke could possibly need in a cat-supply store. Luke tries to leave, but Lorelai follows him, asking what he bought in the store. It's a set of cat-themed potholders. They're hideous. When you open the bottom it makes a noise like a cat in heat. "It's a present," Luke explains. "For someone you hate?" Lorelai asks. Luke tells Lorelai that it's Rachel's birthday, but he doesn't want her to say anything because Rachel doesn't want anyone to know. She hates birthdays. Lorelai bets that Rachel will hate the potholder more. Luke bitches about having to buy people presents and how stupid the whole gift-giving process is. He doesn't think that you should have to give gifts to prove your affections for someone. He can be the best guy in the world but if he doesn't buy the right fuzzy slippers, then all of a sudden he sucks. Lorelai says that Luke can't give Rachel the potholder. She suggests he goes to the mall to find something. Luke shudders and says he hates malls. There's a long list of reasons. I'll spare you. Lorelai does the unbelievable and offers to go to the mall and shop for Rachel's gift for him. This, I'm finding hard to believe. She says that she'll take his credit card, buy a shitload of things at the mall, and then bring them back for him to choose. Then she'll return whatever he doesn't like. She says all he'll have to do is point. Man. I'd charge Luke mad cash for this. Lorelai says he should do something nice for Rachel. It's their first special occasion since she got back. Luke says he's taking her out to dinner. He agrees to let Lorelai buy some presents. He starts making rules right away. Rachel likes traditional gifts. She's not trendy: "Elephants. Candles." Luke says that a candle shaped like an elephant would be best. I look over at the elephant footstool my roommate owns and wonder how I can get in touch with Lorelai and have her pick it up. Lorelai says that she has it under control. She hands him the potholders, tells him to get rid of them, and walks away.
CuteDean! CuteDean! He's CuteDean! He walks into Kim's Antiques, shouting for Lane. Lane isn't in shouting distance, but MamaLane is. She whips around a corner and starts with the yelling immediately:
MamaLane: Who are you? Why you call Lane?