Gilmore Girls
Pulp Friction

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How To Lose A Mom In Ten Days

Luke begs Lorelai to turn off the reggae. They eat food in his truck. Total waste of the shoes and dress, but a good burrito is worth anything. Oh, they're just duck-shaped leftovers. I must be hungry. Luke accuses Lorelai of playing the CD over and over, hoping Luke would beg for mercy. He does. Lorelai informs him that she hasn't actually been playing the same song over and over. That's reggae. And that's exactly how I feel about reggae. Luke and Lorelai notice a sound coming from Lorelai's garage. They go to investigate. Luke brandishes a weapon, and Lorelai begs him not to hurt any cute raccoons. Luke says he'll only scare them. Lorelai suggests that he play some of the reggae CD to scare them.

So it's Kirk, naked in Luke's boat, asleep under a barely-there blanket. Lorelai: "I probably should be more surprised than I am, right?" Luke wakes Kirk up, much to the displeasure of everyone else's eyeballs. Lorelai and Luke tell Kirk he's at Lorelai's, in Luke's boat. "I'm exposed," Kirk notes. He wraps himself in his Batman blanket. Kirk did just what Luke told him to do: he left his mom's house. He packed his clothes, gave his mom his key, and left. Lorelai says that this is a big deal. Kirk says that Luke told Kirk he can't have a grown-up relationship with Lulu with sleepovers if he lives with his mom. But now Kirk doesn't have anywhere to go: "I probably should have found an apartment first." Lorelai tells him he can stay in Rory's room tonight. Kirk tells Lorelai he thinks there's a raccoon in the garage. Lorelai tells him to go into the house. Luke needs a haircut. A little too much wispy on top there. Hair doesn't need whimsy. Actually, it's the same hair they give mfTL, isn't it? Lorelai can't believe Luke gave Kirk any advice at all, and that now they have to take care of him because of it: "He is now our responsibility." Lorelai cites the Colin Powell Pottery Barn rule: "You break it, you buy it." Luke groans.

The QT party is playing the most annoying song from any soundtrack, Kill Bill or no. I have now asked two QT fans who the ladies in sequins and gloves are supposed to be. They both guessed, "I don't know. Something from Jackie Brown?" ["I think your Blue Velvet guess was probably right." -- Wing Chun] Robert and Rory are standing at a table, where Robert is explaining his entire life goal: to outlive his brother, inherit the entire family fortune, put all his sisters out on the street, live as frivolously as possible, have numerous wives and thousands of children, die completely alone, and leave every cent to a parrot named Moe. Well, I do believe this date is over. Colin comes by, looking for another girl to mack on, complaining that their incestuous parties never make for good fresh meat. Finn asks, "Who's as drunk as I am?" Colin: "No one, since Spencer Tracy died." Mad props to the guy in the background dressed as Chris Penn at the end of True Romance. Finn asks Rory if he's met her yet. "Several times," she answers. He leaves.

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Gilmore Girls

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