Looking disheveled and guilty, Rory steps out of her bedroom. Lorelai says hello. Seconds later, sheepish and just a little too happy, CuteDean steps out of the bedroom. "Dean came over to borrow something," Rory says. "Yeah," CuteDean says. Yeah. Her innocence. The look on Lorelai's face is perfect: swallowing the desire to scream and wail, the burning behind the eyes, the need to beat that boy up until his dick falls off. CuteDean says he should go, and says goodbye to Lorelai. "Bye, Dean!" Rory says loudly. Ah, isn't that how we all want to lose our virginity? Quickly throwing our clothes back on and then not even a kiss goodnight as he leaves out the back door when our moms come home? Love. True love.
Lorelai walks over and looks inside Rory's room, where we see her dirty whore bed, sheets pushed to the edge of the mattress. Rory tries to talk about the CDs, but Lorelai turns away from the bedroom, closing her eyes. She asks, "So, what'd he borrow?" Rory apologizes for not talking to Lorelai about it first, as she had promised she would, but it just happened and she hadn't planned it. So who brought the condom? Rory says it's awful that she found out this way, but she's fine and everything's okay. She says they were safe, so all the Trojan Man jokes over the years apparently stuck: "And I'm lucky, too, because Dean. He's...well, aren't you glad that it happened with someone who's good and really loves me?" Lorelai says, "But he's married." Rory tells her mother that she doesn't understand the situation. Lorelai: "Is he still married?" Rory: "Yes, but..." Lorelai: "Then I understand the situation." Rory says that Lindsay and CuteDean aren't happy, and that it's not working out between them. "Oh, Rory," says Lorelai. Rory says it's over between them. Lorelai asks if CuteDean told her that it was over, he was moving out, he has a lawyer, and he and Lindsay are dividing up the monster truck season tickets. Rory says they didn't get around to discussing everything: "It was a crazy night." Lorelai says that Rory, the list maker, the girl who thinks everything through, should have maybe discussed those things before "jumping into bed with a married guy." I'm sorry I don't have anything to snark on here. It's just a good scene, and Lorelai says everything we want to say. Rory says that CuteDean isn't a married guy. "He's Dean. My Dean." Lorelai says that he's actually Lindsay's Dean. And then the line we knew she was going to say: "You're the Other Woman." Rory repeats that it's over between CuteDean and Lindsay. Lorelai says it's not over until he's out of the house with the ring off. "He took the ring off," Rory says. But he's putting it back on right now, girl. Lorelai says she can't believe this. Rory says that Dean's in love with her, not Lindsay, and that Lindsay isn't good enough for him. Lindsay wants him to quit school and work all the time and she doesn't see him for the guy Rory knows him to be. Lorelai says that her daughter isn't going to be one of those girls who blames the wife for forcing the husband to cheat. Rory says he wasn't cheating. "He was cheating, Rory," Lorelai says. "He was cheating. And you were cheating with him. There's no other way to spin that, kid." Rory says she's not spinning it, and that she's not a kid: "I'm nineteen."