Gilmore Girls
Red Light On A Wedding Night

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Run, Max! Run!

Morning. Luke's. Cardigan Man's there, beaming about coffee and pancakes. Luke asks him what's going on. Cardigan Man (and I'm so glad he's back, by the way, and not just because he shares a name with the cat from whom I recently broke off my engagement) says that he's just happy, and that he doesn't know of anything special that's happening today. Luke's suspicious. Lorelai and Rory walk in and ask for a bigger table than usual, since they are three today. Luke asks when Max became invisible to the human eye. Lorelai says he's getting his papers. Max gets three papers every morning. The Hartford paper, The Wall Street Journal, and The New York Times. The better to ignore them with, my dear. Luke points out that the same news in three different papers wastes a lot of trees. I'm wondering why Max doesn't use the ol' internet for at least one of them and borrow a paper at Luke's for another. You know that diner's got three copies of the Hartford paper floating around every day. Lorelai tells Luke to be nice. Max walks in, and Luke covers him in nice, telling him that he looks great and that brown is his color and that Luke's so happy to see him. Max sits and says that he only got two out of three, and that nobody had The Wall Street Journal. Rory says that Stars Hollow isn't a very financially oriented town. Lorelai barks that the town is more oriented to coffee, and holds her mug toward Luke. My mother would smack me for being as rude as Lorelai is five times a day. For real, that girl is bossy and selfish. I'm just sayin'. Luke fills coffee bowls and says that they've got blueberry pancakes this morning. "Bring 'em," Lorelai says. "Bring 'em twice," Rory smiles. Luke asks what Max wants, and Max asks for a few minutes. This kicks off an elaborate song and dance that makes me never want to go to Stars Hollow ever. Check it: apparently if you don't order the second your ass hits seat, you might not be able to eat the food you want. See, Luke only makes so many pancakes, and won't make any more, and didn't make enough for everybody because that's good business, so if it takes a minute more for you to order your pancakes, there may not be any left. And you can't all order out of turn for some reason, so you all have to order at the same time. Luke tells Lorelai and Rory that basically they can risk it and wait for Max, but they probably won't have any pancakes if they do that. Lorelai tells him they'll wait, and then starts bitching at Max that the menu isn't going to change and that it's basically eggs and other breakfast foods. Max tells Lorelai to order without him, but she won't, because of some reason we don't get to know. It can't be that she's being nice, because that goes against all of her food ethics in terms of ordering, having a seat, behaving in public, etc. Max says that his rhythm might be different from the girls', and that he doesn't want to cramp their style. Luke hands Max a lunch menu. Assholes, all of them. He says that lunch starts in an hour. Max decides to have poached eggs, so then Rory and Lorelai scream that they want pancakes. Luke tells them that he did, in fact, set some pancakes aside for them, even though he made a big deal about how he wasn't going to do that. Whatever.

Luke walks to another table and looks out the window. He sees a construction crew. Luke asks what's going on, and Cardigan Man kicks it into high gear. They're going to put up a stoplight at the corner outside of Luke's diner. Luke is hella pissed off. They're putting up a metered traffic light and crosswalk. Cardigan Man and Luke argue over the construction crew. Luke says that a business has the right to know about any construction that might occur outside of said business, and Cardigan Man says that this is an emergency to stop potential accidents that might have happened on this corner. Apparently this corner hasn't had any accidents, but that doesn't mean some might not happen. Why would Cardigan Man want a stoplight, anyway? He tells Luke that you can't stop progress. Isn't that street outside a circle? Lorelai tries to soothe Luke, telling him he can take the light out later with his bare hands or teeth. Lorelai asks whether Luke got his wedding invitation for the wedding where she'll wed Max. I don't know how he could have, since as of yesterday she hadn't mailed them out. Luke says that the invite is in a pile of things. She asks whether he's coming to the wedding. Luke says he needs to make some phone calls about the traffic light, and excuses himself.

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