Emily is on the phone telling the servants to lock up for the night because she won't be coming home. Lorelai moans. Emily asks if she's in pain. Lorelai says she's in all sorts of pain. Emily gets off the phone and Lorelai says that Emily really, really doesn't have to do this. Emily says she won't leave Lorelai alone in this condition. She starts walking around the house. Lorelai asks what she's doing. She's trying to find the candlesticks that she bought for her. Lorelai flinches and confesses that she actually returned those crystal candlesticks for a monkey lamp. "Pardon me?" Emily asks. "It's a lamp with a bunch of monkeys on it," Lorelai says, trying not to giggle. Emily demands to see this lamp that's better than crystal candlesticks. Lorelai gestures to it with her head. "Oh, my God! They're holding coconuts and leering!" Emily shouts. "It's funny," Lorelai smiles. "You traded my lovely gift for a semi-pornographic leering monkey lamp? How could you? This is not just about the bad breeding of returning a gift. This goes to the very heart of the question of taste. You were given something of substance, and you cast it off for a ridiculous, slightly sinister barroom decoration? Explain this to me, Lorelai." Lorelai leans back and pouts, "My back hurts." Excellent pouting, on that one.
Wow. That's one giant dance room for like a prep-school formal. This place looks like prom. CuteDean and Rory stare for a few seconds and compliment the place. CuteDean says they could just get their picture taken and leave or they could dance a little first. "Yeah?" Rory asks with a smile. "I stress 'a little,'" says CuteDean. Rory says they can dance something slow so the pressure is off. He grabs her hand and they walk off.
Man, back in episode, like, two, we met these two friends of Paris, Blonde Brat and Brunette Bimbo. They are not having a good time at the dance and are debating leaving. The blonde is bored. The brunette says they have to wait for Paris. The brunette points out Rory and says she has good hair. The blonde wants to know who Rory's date is. They decide to investigate. They hold hands and walk up to CuteDean and Rory. The blonde compliments Rory's dress and asks who made it. Rory says that her mother did. The blonde immediately starts making eyes at CuteDean and asks, "So, you travelling with a bodyguard, now?" CuteDean is giving the blonde the "I know what you're trying to do" squint. Rory introduces CuteDean to them (she stumbles when she almost calls CuteDean her boyfriend). Their names are Louisa and Fraulein, as far as I can tell from Rory's occasional mumbling fits. That's okay, I like those names. Hideous names for pretty brat rich girls. Fraulein, the brunette, is still thinking about the dress, and complains that her mother wouldn't make her anything. Louisa asks CuteDean how tall he is. Fraulein says her mother makes soup. Louisa is coming on strong and flirts that all of the men in her family are also really tall. She asks if he's six-one, six-two. Rory asks if he gets a prize for this. He says he's six foot two. Man. At sixteen? Where were those boys at my high school? "Six-two's a good height," she says like Christina Aguilera. "You think?" CuteDean asks, and for a second it appears he's flirting back. "Yeah," Louisa flirts back. "Huh," CuteDean says, and walks behind Rory. He puts his arms around her and asks into her ear, "What do you think. Too tall?" "Not in heels," Rory says. "Good," he says. Rory confesses that the saddle shoes make it a bit difficult. "Well, I'll just have to stoop then," he smiles. "I guess so," Rory smiles. Louisa, who's been just staring at this, says, "Okay. I'm bored." She turns and leaves. Fraulein turns back around for a second and says, "I like your dress." Rory thanks her. I guess with a name like Fraulein, she's going to be the slightly nicer one. They watch the girls walk away. Rory turns around in CuteDean's arms and says, "Hey, you're nice." I actually have to stop the tape for a few minutes and cry because I never ever had anyone like CuteDean in my life when I was in high school, and I feel completely robbed because of it. ["Girl, please. Join the club. I didn't even have a CuteDean in university." -- Wing Chun] Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You" starts up and CuteDean pulls Rory towards the dance floor.