Paris is selling tickets to the formal. Oh, Paris. Where have you been? She asks Philllipppe (or for those of you just tuning in, "Tristan") if he needs two tickets. He says he does. She asks who he's taking. "Why, are you free?" he leers in quickly. Paris stammers and looks down. Philllipppe instantly stands up and says she couldn't possibly be free this close to the dance. She hands him his change. He asks if her hair is shorter. She says it is, just a quarter inch. She got it trimmed. He says it looks good. She thanks him. There are like, thirty-five-year-olds in line behind Philllipppe. One of them is trying to hide his face. Whatever, schoolboy, I can see your crow's feet from here.
Philllipppe passes Rory in line for the tickets. He makes a joke about her reading another book. She tries to blow him off, but he's not leaving. He asks what she's doing there. "I like lines," Rory says into her book. Philllipppe tells Rory that the guy is supposed to buy the tickets for the dance. "Really? Does Susan Faludi know about this?" Rory squints. I really do like this show, people. Philllipppe speculates that perhaps there isn't a guy. Philllipppe says he must be a cheap guy. Rory says she likes them cheap. She says she also likes them sloppy, with a bald spot and those pants that slip down in the back and give her a good plumber shot. Philllipppe asks if he goes to this school. Rory says he doesn't. Philllipppe doesn't have a date. Rory tells him that Squeaky Fromme should be up for parole soon. He thought Rory would like to go with him. "You did not," she says. "I did, too!" Rory: "You did not because you are not stupid." Rory says that barring a massive head injury there's no reason that she'd ever want to go anywhere with him. She's so dating him in like, three weeks, people. He's going to wear her down. CuteDean will do something dumb or she'll end up with him at a dance like Cha-Cha and Danny and then Paris will get pissy and Paris and Rory will end up the best of friends when they realize that Philllipppe sucks. I call 'em as I see 'em. ["If Rory dates Philllipppe, I will stop watching this show, and I am not joking. It's bad enough they have Lorelai dating Stalker Max." -- Wing Chun] Philllipppe says he'll take "Cissy," and that she at least won't have to buy her own ticket. He pouts off.
"Two, please," Rory says to Paris. "Idiot," Paris mutters as she takes her money. She tells Rory that she's an idiot because Philllipppe was clearly just asking Rory to the dance and she treated him like a jerk. Rory says that if Paris likes Philllipppe so much then she should ask him out. Paris doesn't have any change. Rory says she can pay her back later. Paris freaks out and says that she's not a "Versateller" and that Rory can wait for her change. She starts yelling to the boy next to her that she needs change immediately. She looks up at Rory and says, "There's no way you're going to the dance with somebody better than Tristan." "Whatever," Rory mutters. Paris assumes that Rory will "get hit with some very rare form of flu that only hits losers on dance night." Rory says she doesn't want her change: "Money makes people shallow." As Rory walks away, Paris grabs a dollar from the boy next to her and starts screaming that she has Rory's change and she needs to come back and get it. "Hey! If you think I'm keeping this dollar, I'm not!" The boy next to her says he'll take the dollar. "You shut up!" she says, and goes back to the cashbox.