Luke serves a customer a fine diner breakfast of eggs, toast, and bacon and is distracted by Kirk, who moans wistfully at the sight of the food. He tells Luke that he has women troubles. His mother and Lulu have been battling it out for his affections, using cherry cobbler as a weapon. I, myself, am having Kirk troubles, because...well, he's on the screen. Also, Luke's new hat is RIDICULOUS. Too large, too...hatty, I don't know. It's not adjustable, so it's just sitting on his head like a cone, pushed down over his ears. Anyway, Luke is not sympathetic to Kirk's first-world problem of too much cobbler. Kirk can't even decide what to order at Luke's, because he knows his mom and Lulu would disagree on his choice. "Lulu would want me to get something hip, like a bagel," he says. Luke is incredulous: "Hip?" Kirk's mom, though, would want him to get something more substantial like pancakes. Finally, all is solved when Luke's handy kitchen assistant, Not Lane's Dad, appears and delivers an egg bagel. I immediately regret turning my nose up at Kirk when Anna arrives. Apparently, April is going to be staying with Luke while Anna goes out of town to take care of her mother. School starts tomorrow, and Anna gives him the run down of all necessary numbers and waivers and school stuff he needs to be aware of. "And," she warns, "she'll tell you she needs to be there by 7:30, but she really doesn't need to be there 'til eight." Right, right, because someone found a page from a discarded script in a trash can and scratched out "Rory's First Day at Chilton" and wrote in "Luke's Secret Daughter Goes to School." I know I've mentioned it before, but it bugs me. Why does April have to be just like Rory and Anna just like Lorelai? Is this going to pay off at any point? Like, someone is going to mention it, right? Because it's too obvious, otherwise, and it's offensive if they think we're not noticing.
Lorelai arrives at work to be greeted by a kitchen full of gourds! Gourds of all shapes and sizes! I love gourds. Last year, AB Chao made a centerpiece of gourds covered in glitter! GLITTER! And I have been waiting all year to copy her. Except, check it, I'm going to use bigger gourds. Way bigger. Like, state-fair-championship-pumpkin-sized gourds that have to be lifted by a crane and dipped into a bathtub of glue to then be dragged through a glitter MOUNTAIN. Sookie says that Jackson's squash crop went crazy this summer and they have tons of gourds to be put into soups (and covered in glitter)! She tries to make Lorelai taste her (most likely delicious) gourd soup, but Lorelai refuses. "It's so good, and sweet and rich," Sookie promises. "It's like pie, only it's soup! It's like pie soup!" Sign me up for that, but Lorelai still says no. "I don't eat orange food except for candy corn," she says. Sookie points out that she eats Cheetos. "I don't eat food that's naturally orange," Lorelai says. Sookie: "You eat oranges." Lorelai finally says that she just doesn't eat gourds, and Sookie gives up.