Gilmore Girls
Sadie, Sadie

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The Longest Summer

Lorelai walks outside and calls Max. "Where are we gonna live?" she asks him. "Your house? My house?" Max says he doesn't know. He's also wearing an aqua shirt and gray sweat pants, so what does he know about anything? Lorelai says she's got a life and a kid and that both of them require some kind of house. She says that she has lots of stuff she's accumulated over the years, and that it's hers and it needs a place to live. Lorelai says that she wants to work, and likes her bank. It's a small bank and the teller's name is Margie and she doesn't know how to count and Lorelai finds something very poetic in a bank teller who doesn't count so well. Lorelai, it's called Bank of America. It's really not that hard to find. Max tells Lorelai to calm down. She sits and pouts. "If I die I want you to know where the coupon drawer is," she says. He says he'd like that, too. She says they need to figure these things out. Max asks whether Lorelai's saying yes. "Why are you asking me that?" Lorelai stalls. He says she's calling him freaking out about discussing these things, so he wants to know whether she's saying yes and that's why they need to discuss these things. "Are you?" he asks. Lorelai sits.

Emily, Rory, and Richard sit at the dinner table. Emily says she's very excited about all of this. She asks Rory whether she thinks she'll get a certificate. Rory says she doesn't know. Emily says that there should be some kind of certificate, and that she'll call Bitty tomorrow to discuss it. Richard says he's going to brag to a friend who's always bragging about his own grandson. Emily says that William is a lovely boy. "His head is shaped like a football," Richard says. They bicker about poor William and bragging to friends as Lorelai half-walks into the dining room. Rory looks up at her. Emily and Richard keep bickering as Lorelai looks at Rory and sort of grins and wobbles her head. Rory looks excited and perks up. Lorelai keeps half-nodding and wiggling until Rory stands up and cheers. They hug and scream. Richard complains that Rory's scream made him spill on his shirt. Emily and Richard ask what's going on. Lorelai says that they're very excited about this 3% thing. Rory agrees. Richard and Emily agree that it's not worth their efforts to figure out what's weird about Rory and Lorelai this time. Emily asks the maid to bring out club soda for Richard's shirt. Rory and Lorelai giggle into the commercial.

Independence Inn kitchen. Sookie walks around barking orders and helping out as the seafood man brings in a bucket of lobsters. Sookie puts her hand in to coo at one and the lobster nips her hand with its claw. Another chef pulls Sookie's hand out as a different one bandages it and Sookie says she's a good clotter. She starts to go back into the lobster bucket but the lobsters are still nipping, so she tells the seafood man to put the lobsters in the back. I love that Sookie only works with good-looking men. Love that. Sookie walks over to Michel and tells him he needs to move. "In a minute," Michel Frenches. He's taking slices of turkey breast and putting them on a scale in a Tupperware container. "I am weighing my turkey," Michel explains. Sookie asks why he'd do such a thing. Michel explains that they did a study on rats in which they cut the rats' caloric intake by 30%. "And you felt left out?" Sookie empathizes. Michel says that the rats lived 30% longer. The scientists also cut their own caloric intake by 30% so that they would live longer as well. Michel has decided to do this, too, so that he can live as long as the scientists and eventually the scientists will have cures for everything, including death, and then he can live forever. "Like Fame?" Sookie asks. "Don't speak to me," Michel says. Sookie asks for her scale back as Lorelai walks into the kitchen. She says she has a big announcement to make that's fabulous. Michel says goodbye. Lorelai asks him to wait and says she has good news. Michel says he's sure it's exciting and then excuses himself. Sookie tells Lorelai that Michel thinks he's going to live forever. "Like on Fame?" Lorelai asks. "That's what I said!" Sookie says. Michel says that later on when he's still alive and they're dead, he'll sit around with his scientist friends and giggle like little girls at their ignorance. Michel leaves and Lorelai checks with Sookie that Michel did, in fact, say "giggle like little girls." Lorelai tells Sookie that she's getting married. Sookie and Lorelai go back and forth saying, "No!" and "Yes!" until Sookie gets confused. Sookie hugs Lorelai and says this is so great. She says that Max is a wonderful man. "It is Max, right?" Sookie asks. She tells Lorelai that she's going to be a Sadie. "Sadie! Sadie! Married lady!" Sookie sings. "Funny Girl!" Lorelai shouts. "Streisand!" Sookie shouts back with Streisand-hands. Sookie says that she's going to make the cake. Sookie starts writing out the menu immediately and she breaks down into tears. She says that Lorelai raised Rory all by herself and that she's such a good kid and Lorelai's done so well for herself and really deserves this. She deserves to be this happy and have these good things happen for her. I love Sookie. Jackson walks in at this point, sees Sookie crying, and asks whether she was making cutlets again. Sookie tells Jackson that Lorelai is getting married, and adds that she loves saying that word. Jackson immediately gets weird, but congratulates Lorelai. Sookie asks Jackson what the most romantic vegetable is. Jackson stammers that he wouldn't know such a thing because he's just the normal vegetable guy and not the romantic vegetable guy, and that he's never even been to a wedding. He amends that to say he's been to one -- his cousin BonBon's wedding, and yes, that's his real name. And Jackson didn't even notice the vegetables at that wedding, so he's the wrong person to ask about romantic vegetables. "I'm not the wedding vegetable guy!" Jackson screams as he leaves the room. Lorelai says that Jackson's already terrified that Sookie wants to get married because she is. Sookie tells Lorelai to tell Jackson that she's pregnant. "With twins," Lorelai adds. "Why not?" Sookie says.

Rory's on the phone with Lane. Lane just got off the phone with the American consulate and she just learned her Korean name. Why isn't Rory more upset about this? Lane's in her funky closet, moaning that she's going to be shipped to Korea forever. Rory says that there must be something she can do. Lane says that she's a minor and that this is over. MamaLane calls for dinner. "Last meal," Lane says. "Call me later," Rory says as Lane hangs up. Lane closes her closet door and comes down for dinner. Y'all, Lane's getting shipped out and Rory's not doing a damn thing about it? I hate this. She's not even upset.

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