Gilmore Girls
Santa's Secret Stuff

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Home For Fake Christmas

Outside Doose's, Lane and Zach argue over her ability to carry a bag of groceries. She's sick to death of being bossed around, especially by him and her mom. "Come on," says Zach, "she's been pretty great, Lane. She's cooked for us, cleaned for us; she's a total fount of baby information." Lane scoffs: "Well, maybe you should have married my mom, then, okay?" Zach: "Well, maybe when she was younger..." Lane whips around on him. "Hey" he says defensively, "I'm just saying she's a handsome woman. When she was younger, she probably looked a little like you. Shorter hair, no glasses, maybe a bit more crabby. Maybe." Lane says she's just sick of Mrs. Kim, and sick of everything else, too -- especially being treated like she's not a person. "On what planet is it appropriate," she asks, "to ask a person how many times a day she urinates?" Zach: "Well, you can ask me. Six times today so far. I had a lot of coffee." Hee. They are both great in this scene, especially when Lane finally breaks down and reveals what's bothering her most: "It was such a small window. A peephole, really. For years, I was this repressed kid, and there was the briefest of windows. And now? Slam. All of a sudden I'm this overburdened mother. I barely got the chance to be a person." Zach says that just because they have kids doesn't mean that have to stop rocking: "Sonic Youth has a kid and they're still way cool." He also points out that Mick Jagger has, like, fifteen kids. "For sure," he says, "the man rocks hard, and then he comes home and makes another kid." He says that they can still go out and play music. That's one of the benefits of having MamaKim around, says Zach -- built-in babysitter. Lane says she guesses he's right and, feeling a little better, lets him carry her grocery bag. So sweet. Well-done scene.

Back in front of the diner, Luke and April have the MY GOD MOST ANNOYING conversation about her continuing upsetedness about having to move. Luke says that the court case makes it really important to keep things honest between him and her mother, so they can't be sneaking around to see each other. She asks if he's hired a good lawyer, and he says yes. "Good," she says, "because Mom hired a shark."

At home, Lorelai is busy at her typewriter, finishing up the letter. She pulls it out of the carriage, folds it (without signing it), and goes downstairs to find Christopher, Rory, and Gigi decorating cookies. "We made cookies by scratching," Gigi says cutely. "'From scratch,'" Chris corrects her. Lorelai puts on her coat and says she'll be right back. Rory tells her to hurry -- they'll be screening Christmas In July in thirty minutes. "Thought we'd start a new tradition," says Christopher, and for once, Lorelai has no smart comeback. "Sounds good," she says, instead, and heads to the square to the corner postbox where, as she drops Luke's letter in the box, snow begins to fall.

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Gilmore Girls

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