Jess switches the plates out from the guy who said he got the wrong order earlier. Jess then shouts to the room that he's holding someone's order (that the other guy was kind of already eating) and wants to know whose plate it is. He's all "Look in front of you. If there's nothing there and there should be, this is yours." Kirk, of course, realizes that it's his order. The ham lady is just holding up one hand now in a sad little "They cut my other ham line" gesture. Jess goes back to Rob Estes, and shouts, "Do you know what you want yet?" Can I call Rob Estes Neverwood? Because that's the nickname Stee gave Gilmore Girls Spinoff and it's working out for me. Or is Street Billiams better? Neverwood, it is. So, Neverwood orders some coffee and Jess sasses back more inappropriate things that make me question his Employee of the Month certificate.
Taylor dances in at this point, wearing an old tyme-y outfit, singing "The Candyman." Like, all of "The Candyman." He sings for quite a while, and then announces that finally his Olde Fashioned Soda Shoppe and Candy Store is having its grand opening tomorrow. There's going to be a celebration all day long. In the background, we see the ham lady get a piece of candy delivered to her by one of Taylor's old tyme lasses. I wouldn't have noticed, but she loudly said "Thank you" over Taylor's singing. That girl was determined to get her AFTRA card today. All the townies are giggling to each other, giving each other looks like, "Our local celebrities are just so kooky. Isn't it great being a nobody in Stars Hollow?" Taylor has said the word "candy" about twenty-three times. I don't know why Jess hasn't kicked them out yet. The big joke here? The penny candy costs a buck. Then there's a weird ADR of Taylor saying, "Come at noon; stay all day."
Luke enters the diner and Jess chews him out for not being at the diner for five minutes. Luke says he had to run an errand. Worst line in the history of this show: "Cesar's suddenly decided to join the Slow Food Movement." That doesn't even make any sense. What the hell is going on? Where's the good writing? Jess complains that there's a guy seated at the four-top who won't leave and is only ordering coffee. Luke says that all of Jess's tips will now be Luke's tips, since Luke had to spend the morning at Kyle's. "Dean started it," Jess says. Luke can't believe Jess is going to use that excuse. But Jess uses it again. Luke points out that Jess and CuteDean fought all through the house, breaking a chair, a coffee table, and an ottoman. "I don't need a recap," Jess mumbles. Ha. Shout-Out, Part Deux. That one was from Jess to me, I'm sure. Jess says "Dean" almost as many times as Taylor said "candy." Sounds like someone's in love. Luke says that Dean was at Kyle's this morning, apologizing for what he did, and has already made arrangements to repay the damages he caused. Jess: "Man, he's gonna make someone a fine doormat someday." Shut up. You're gonna make someone a fine conjugal visit. Luke says that Jess is going to pay back every cent, and from now on, all the money Jess makes at the diner will go toward paying Kyle's parents. Jess storms off. Luke sees Neverwood leave the diner. If he was avoiding Luke, why did he wait until Luke was looking at him to take off? Oh, for the cliché. Luke sees that Neverwood has left his wallet. He takes the wallet and runs outside. Neverwood is gone, so Luke opens the wallet and sees who Neverwood is. Long close-up of Luke's disapproving stare as we finally go to commercial.