Gilmore Girls
Say Goodnight, Gracie

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Thank You, Boys

In the dark, Jess finishes cleaning tables at the diner. He's listening to Bowie's "Suffragette City." Neverwood enters. Jess tells him that they're closed: "Learn to read." He identifies Neverwood as "The Loser Coffee Guy." Neverwood says he'll take the moniker. Once again, Jess tells him that they're closed. "I'm your father," Neverwood says all in the middle of Jess's line. "What?" Jess asks. "I'm...your..." Jess: "Are you sure?" Neverwood: "Am I...? Yes. I'm sure." He says he didn't mean to spring this news on him, figuring that Luke would have told Jess his father was in town after Luke saw him yesterday. Then they try to pull that "Because you're still doing the staring with the frown thing." First of all, no, that line doesn't work on that actor. And secondly, of course Luke wouldn't have told Jess, since he told Neverwood to get the fuck out of Dodge before Jess found out he was there. Neverwood tells Jess he looks different. Jess asks if Neverwood wants some coffee. Neverwood says he does. Jess pours Neverwood some coffee. "It's old," Jess says. They sit down. They have nothing to say to each other. They bop their heads to the music for a few notes. They both mouth along with, "Wham bam, thank you, ma'am!" Then Neverwood storms out of there. Jess sets his jaw. Neverwood doesn't even shut the door. Hey, Neverwood! You forgot your spinoff actor!

Walking home from wherever, Lorelai tells Rory that she was negotiating at a funeral. Rory says she saw the whole thing from the back of the line. Lorelai says it was the most inappropriate thing that happened today until the gnat flew into Kirk's mouth and he dropped the casket. Rory says it was a nice save, but we don't know who did the saving. Lorelai says she feels really weird. She's "sad" about Fran, but the inn is "really going to happen." Sure. Yeah, you practically signed the contract right on the casket, right? And hey -- Dean's getting married. Want to discuss that? And Emily still isn't talking to you. Sookie's having a baby.

Lorelai calls Rory over to look at something: a red prom dress. She says she needs to take Rory prom shopping tomorrow, unless Rory wants Lorelai to sew the dress, which she'll do. Rory does more hand-shoving in the back pockets and eye-shifting. Rory says she doesn't want to talk about dresses anymore. She snaps that she doesn't even know if she's going to the prom. Lorelai says she thought Jess was taking her. Rory says that was before the party and the fight and the thing in Kyle's bedroom. That was Kyle's bedroom? That was such a girly room. There's no way that was Kyle's bedroom. Anyway, Lorelai wants to know if Rory had sex, so she ushers Rory into the Jeep to talk. For no reason other than to break up the fight, there's a driver behind them who wants to pull into Lorelai's space. But Lorelai is one of those people who just sits in her car for forever, waving people around. And every once in a while, she just waves out the window, but the person in the car doesn't mind waiting for her to leave eventually, so they stay out there, blinker light on, waiting. It's like me with this episode.

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Gilmore Girls

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