The priest returns to the podium and replaces the microphone. He points out that it's noon, the time that Fran would be opening her bakery on Sunday, welcoming people from church. They take a moment of silence for her. Miraculously, Sookie and Lorelai don't talk about themselves for an entire moment. Instead, there's a marching band outside, and it starts up in full fanfare. Taylor runs out of the church, screaming that the grand opening has been postponed. The priest says that Fran wanted one last walk around the town square before being put in her final resting place, and he's inviting everyone to take the walk with her. "Walking with dead people not my thing," MamaLane says to Lane. "Let's go." Rory asks Lorelai where Sookie went off to. You know how people are always mingling at funerals. Lorelai says that Sookie went to give her condolences...and find out what's happening with the inn. Can't wait one day. Sookie comes back and says that the man in the suit is Fran's lawyer, and that he's here to put her business affairs in order. Lorelai asks if they could talk to him. Sookie reminds Lorelai that she has to get back to the Inn, and that Sookie has a group of B&B people showing up at her house to make jam. Amazing that they're still going to keep those obligations, I know. Lorelai says they should talk to Fran's lawyer now. "I think our window of opportunity just slammed shut," Sookie says. And by that, she means the casket. The lawyer is also a pallbearer, and he's one of the six men carrying Fran's casket around the town square. So's Kirk. Lorelai says they will respectfully hover until the walk is over, and then they will swarm him after the walk and talk to him. Lorelai asks if Rory's coming. Rory says she'll stay way in the back so that when the Earth opens up and swallows Sookie and Lorelai whole, Rory will still be alive to tell the tale.
Outside the church in her bright red coat, Rory runs into Dean. He's very happy to see her, and pulls her aside to tell her something. After small talk about Fran being a nice lady, he promises that they'll catch up with the walk if they can talk for a second. They walk the two feet to the left that actors do when they want to talk privately. He says, "I asked Lindsay to marry me." Now Rory's first question is, "Why?" But my first question is, "When?" Neither Jess nor Dean has even so much as a scratch on him after fighting for twenty minutes Friday night. When was the right time for Dean to ask Lindsay to marry him -- before he got into a fight for his ex-girlfriend or after? Dean says that Lindsay is amazing, and that he asked and she said yes: "So...I'm getting married." Is this 1958? What's with all the young brides on the WB? Do all of you teens want to get married right out of high school? I mean, don't you guys all plan on going to college? And having careers? And dating? Rory asks why he wants to get married now, when he's so young. She makes him promise that he's still going to college. Dean says that Lindsay's going with him. Rory says that he and Lindsay haven't been going out that long, and that he doesn't even know what he's going to do with his life yet, and that he should probably just date: "Dating's fun." Dean gets upset that Rory's first words aren't of happiness, but of disapproval. He doesn't offer up any answers as to why he'd want to get married right now, before he and Lindsay have even graduated from high school. Rory says she was surprised. "So what?" Dean asks. "It's good news; you can't just be happy for me?" Rory says she can, and she is. "You know what?" Dean says, and the hairs on the back of my neck rise up. "I'm sorry if you have a crappy relationship with Jess," he says. Rory gets all mad and shouts, "Hey!" like some Springer woman. "You don't know! Y'all don't know! He love me! He love me! Y'all don't know! Y'all don't know!" CuteDean reads from the forums, saying he's sorry that Jess treats Rory like dirt and that everyone hates him. CuteDean talks like Frank from The Real World Las Vegas as he says he has a great girlfriend now, and when Rory dumped him for "that jerk," he was really heartbroken and didn't think he'd find another. Now he's marrying that rebound. Rory's answer? "Jess does not treat me like dirt." "Whatever," Dean says, his word echoed throughout the nation as all of us collectively roll our eyes with Dean. He tells Rory that he wanted her to know before the news got out. "Now you know, so, um. Have a nice life." Dean leaves. And Rory -- who just got told goodbye forever by the first love of her life, a boy who is now engaged, who is upset with her for the way she treated him before and now -- only shouts, "Jess does not treat me like dirt!" I can't wait for next season. I'm so done with Jess. I can't believe we endured him for two years. Is Milo Ventimiglia related to someone on the show? I just can't understand why they dragged this out for so long.