Gilmore Girls
Say Something

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Big Anal Creep

Rory runs into the house. Sookie's resting on the couch. Rory: "Where is she?" Sookie: "Upstairs." Rory: "Okay, I got it from here, Sookie." Fuck off, Sookie. Don't let the door hit your pregnant ass on the way out. See ya. Thanks for nothing. Bye. Get out. Leave. She's Just Not a Good Friend: Dealing With a Gilmore Girl.

Rory finds Lorelai crying in bed. "Luke," Lorelai says. "He's gone. He hates me. I blew it. I blew everything." She says she should have told him about Christopher. Rory says that was innocent. Lorelai: "But I should have told him. I hid it. I shouldn't have hid it." She then blames Emily, and says that the town all hates her and they're putting up ribbons because they hate her. She says she pushed Luke and now he's gone. Rory: "He waited forever for you. He's not just going to walk away." Man, these girls think highly of themselves. The whole town hates her. Luke would never leave after wasting his entire life, including a marriage waiting on Lorelai to finally have the time for him. "It's over," Lorelai says. Rory says it isn't like Lorelai to lie in bed crying like this. Lorelai tells her to go back to school. Rory says she's staying. Lorelai cries and says she screwed up. Rory tries to soothe her. "He could have been the one," Lorelai says. Rory tells her that Luke will come around, and that Lorelai should try to sleep.

Lorelai walks downstairs and calls Rory. Her kitchen is now the movie theater. She sits next to Luke on the couch and watches footage of their relationship. Luke tells Lorelai he's been working for the government. It's like watching David Lynch's freshman-year film project as Luke and Lorelai sit at a table rehashing their "all in" lines yet again. This time, like how we were long ago, Lorelai shouts at herself, "Say something!" Luke's gone, and now there's a blue ribbon in his place. Did you guys know my dad was almost named "Blue"? He'd be Blue Ribon. Or Ty Andrew Ribon. Ty A. Ribon, people. Parents should have to take a test.

Lorelai wakes up. Rory is next to her, still in a coat and scarf. "You slept," she notes. I hope it was only for three seconds, because otherwise Rory's sweating like a whore in church under all that. And also, it's creepy to stare at your mom sleeping for more than a couple of minutes. Lorelai tells Rory to go back to school. Rory leaves to get supplies. Lorelai complains about the ribbons all over town, and warns Rory that everyone's going to want to know details, because if there's one thing absolutely every single person in Stars Hollow cares about, it's the daily state of one Lorelai Gilmore.

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Gilmore Girls

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