Gilmore Girls
Scene In A Mall

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Luke walks out of Doose's. Dude. Artichokes are crazy cheap in Stars Hollow. Luke runs into Kirk, who is walking about six dogs. Due to his girlfriend, Kirk now has a lucrative dog-walking business, and Luke finds him in the middle of a game of hide and seek. Basically Kirk lets one dog go and hides with the pack until the lone dog finds them. At the moment, they're hiding from Snuggles. The game helps the dogs to hone their tracking skills. Luke asks if Kirk's ever the one who gets cut loose. "I've gone twice," Kirk admits. Snuggles finds the group, but Snuggles is a slow dog, dragging a leash through the street, and she takes so long at the curb I'm positive that we're about to watch a dog get run over by Jess's piece of shit car. But nobody dies in Stars Hollow, not really, so the dog is fine and all of the dogs celebrate by leaping all over Kirk as joyous music cascades and Kirk asks Luke to whoop it up with them. "Celebrate!" Two dogs celebrate; the other five are busy looking at their trainers. Kirk shouts "Cookies!" over and over again as Luke watches. It's quirky!

Rory enters the Dragonfly and makes some small talk with grumpy Tom, the new Taylor. Rory asks CuteDean for his autograph, and then confesses that she thought he was one of the Village People. CuteDean asks if the rose Rory's wearing is an inside joke for Lorelai. "You know me well," Rory says. "Yeah, I do," CuteDean says. Just not Biblically. CuteDean asks Rory if she's okay now. Rory says she just had a little nervous breakdown, but that she is okay now. She says he's got a heck of an understanding shoulder. Firm, too. And tall. CuteDean lets Rory hammer a bit of the staircase, not unlike when I pretend my cat has delivered the mail by holding his paws against an envelope and then walking him over to my boyfriend. Rory's that good at hammering. She's also just in time to see CuteDean's wife and mother-in-law arrive with lunch. And they have exciting news! They found a new dry cleaner! The new cleaner uses less solvent, so it's cleaner! Lindsay's super-excited about the environment! Rory dropped out of game theory! Lindsay's mother -- let's call her Ialerol -- refers to CuteDean as Dean-o, which makes me hurl-o. Lindsay tells CuteDean that Ialerol made lunch today, "so it's safe to eat." CuteDean explains that Ialerol is teaching Lindsay how to cook. "It's hard!" Lindsay says, like Barbie learning math. Ialerol -- who looks a bit like Ellen DeGeneres in this scene -- wishes she had taught Lindsay how to cook when Lindsay was little, and tells Lindsay not to make that same mistake with her little one. Rory looks at CuteDean with fear. CuteDean shakes his head. Lorelai arrives, pretending to be distraught. She then acts like the bearded man working in the corner is Rory, and he doesn't even get one line to defend himself. Rory laughs and they both joke about how that hideous man could never be Rory. Ah, rudeness. It's so fun! Lorelai says hello to Lindsay and her mom, who has the actual name of Teresa. Rory's all, "Let's go!" She asks if that lunch thing is common. Lorelai says that Lindsay and Teresa bring something for CuteDean and something for the crew every single day. Lindsay made peanut brittle yesterday and it sent more than one worker to the dentist before a HazMat team came and took it away.

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Gilmore Girls

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