Gilmore Girls
Secrets And Loans

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | 1 USERS: A+
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Lorelai can't sleep, so she wakes Rory up. She says she can hear the termites chewing. She wants to go to Sookie's. Rory says it's eleven at night. Lorelai says that somewhere in the world it's still Miller time. Rory tells her to put on some earmuffs to drown out the sound and to go to bed. Lorelai is incredulous that Rory can't hear the termites, and returns to her own room. In the dark, Rory opens her eyes and looks around.

Cut to Rory and Lorelai walking to Sookie's house. They're both creeped out by the termites. Lorelai says she can't stand all their creepy legs and tentacles, prompting Rory to note that Lorelai has no idea what a termite looks like. Rory asks if Sookie was awake. Lorelai says that Sookie answered the phone after twenty or thirty rings. She says that Sookie must be deaf in one ear or something to have not heard the phone ringing for twenty or thirty rings. Sookie answers the door in all smiles. "There they are, my little termite whisperers!" she says. Sookie's got a giant slumber party planned for them where they stay up way late making face masks, reading Tarot cards, playing Twister, watching Purple Rain, and eating food and chocolate and milkshakes. Lorelai notes that it's pretty late. They agree just to skip to the milkshake part.

Lorelai thanks Sookie for letting them crash there, pulling chocolate ice cream out of Sookie's freezer like she's done it seven thousand times before. Lorelai complains that the tenting is going to cost $2000 and then there's another $15,000 worth of damage to repair. ["I'd just like to add that while I was all full of suggestions for ways Lorelai could solve her problems when I watched this episode, my basement flooded on Wednesday, so I no longer think I know everything." -- Wing Chun] She says she likes the house and doesn't want it to fall down. She says she called the bank today and if you listen closely, you can still hear them laughing at her. She says she's worth nothing, and thinking about opening a Coyote Ugly lemonade stand. Rory enters the kitchen at this point, so that Lorelai has to tell the story all over again about the money and the loans and banks. Sookie says that Lorelai is an upstanding citizen and a loyal member of the community. Rory and Sookie list off nice things that Lorelai has done for Stars Hollow that involve making costumes, saving trees, and playing the lead in Fiddler on the Roof. Sookie says that the bank should take those things into account. Because I can't tell you how much Bank of America appreciates it when I sweep my sidewalk or find a home for a lost kitten. Are they kidding? Suddenly there's a thud, and this launches the "What Was That Thud In the Closet" hour. Sookie tells Lorelai and Rory to go find a room at the Inn. Despite all the attempts at dialogue to keep you away from finding out what that thud was, I'm going to assume we're all smart enough to realize Jackson is hiding in the closet. Then it's the "Why is Jackson Hiding in the Closet" variety hour, complete with the "O! The Ice Cream Is Melting!" song. Then it's the "Come Out of the Closet, Jackson" epic poem. It goes on and on with Jackson saying he doesn't want to come out because his pajamas are going to make them laugh at him. They promise they won't laugh, even after they learn that his pajamas are covered with pictures of him in high school when he was on the wrestling team. Jackson pouts out of the closet and everyone tries not to laugh at the tiny pictures of Action Jackson all over his jammies. Lorelai tells Rory that if their house does fall down and one day they have to live in a tree, this moment right here will make it all worth it.

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Gilmore Girls

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