Lorelai walks into the kitchen at the Dragonfly . Sookie's very excited about August 14. It's when Jackson's sister Colleen -- "Not the drunk one" -- will take the kids for the weekend, since they'll be old enough to be considered "kids" and Sookie will be able to have the weekend free without guilt. Lorelai wishes Sookie had gotten to her sooner than six months out: "August is my bathing month." Sookie says that September might work, and then realizes Lorelai is kidding. Richard enters the kitchen with his inspector, whom he sends to check on the landing. Richard tells Lorelai they've decided that (with the exception of one too many garden gnomes) the inn is in tip-top shape. He adds that whoever got her to sign her insurance policy was a criminal genius. Lorelai jokes that the name "Shysty McShysterson" should have tipped her off. I'd like to declare the end of Name McName jokes. Years. We've been doing them for years. Can we please give the "O"s or the "Mac"s a shot? Okay, Old-Jokey MacStaleJokemanson? Richard tells Lorelai he can help. He says he'll put a new policy together for her tomorrow. Sookie offers Richard lunch. When he agrees to a cup of coffee, Sookie adds a scone to the order, despite his repeated protests. "My God, this is a bossy place," he says. You should see Rory's dorm room.
Walking through the Dragonfly, Richard tells his daughter she's done a wonderful job with the inn. Richard compliments the rooms, the renovation, the homey feel and the smart choice of having a stable. Richard tells her that large hotel chains are always looking to buy little places like this and take care of the overhead, protecting the management. Oh, they'll buy it, all right, but then they'll fire everyone but Michel. Take it from a girl who's lived in more than one hotel. Lorelai says she's uninterested, but thanks Richard for taking an interest. Is this like when Richard wanted to buy Luke's business? Did that happen? Richard loves the smell of Sookie's scones (Dirty!).
Lane (with glasses) and mfTL are on a date in their living room on the floor. MfTL pours Lane a bit more Pepsi from their two-liter. Now this is college life done accurately. Lane goes on and on, as she should, about how great it is to have mfTL cook her dinner. Note to new daters: it's really important to compliment heavily when your significant other does things like this -- cooks dinner, does the dishes, takes out the trash, does the laundry, makes the bed. Talk about how sexy it is, constantly. Act like it's the most orgasmic thing that's ever happened to you. That's the only way it'll continue happening. It's really worth all the praising. MfTL brags that he made the tomato sauce himself: Ragu with garlic salt, cayenne pepper, and a dash of wasabi. Don't try this at home. Lane says that the sauce made her ears pop. MfTL says he threw the spaghetti against the wall to see if it was done: "Made a shape of Peter Gabriel's big, bloated head." Ha. Lane gets up to go see it. MfTL grabs her arm and asks if she'll go see it "later." You know: "later." Later. I love that there are bunk beds in their living room. MfTL puts the charm on thick, kissing Lane's wrist, talking about how she's the best. They kiss. They kiss some more. MfTL has to add the word "after" to "later" so that Lane gets it: he wants sex. Tonight. Now-ish. Lane runs to the other side of the room, wondering how she should have known he'd want some. How long have they been living together? Do they really still sleep in separate rooms? Poor Brian. MfTL thinks it was pretty clear he was angling for the booty, what with the cooking and the cleaning and the romancing with candles. "I don't know what else I could have done," he whines. Lane says he's right, and that she'd been given many, many clues: "I'm stupid." MfTL says she's not stupid. He was trying to be subtle. He calls himself a bad, bad man. "I pushed you," he says. "I should be arrested." Lane joins him on the wicker...papasan kind of thing, assuring him that he's a good guy: "I should have known." They've been dating four months, they live together, she's twenty, and they are of opposite sexes. Birds. Bees. Etc. MfTL smiles and asks, "What do you think?" Lane immediately answers, robotically: "Oh, well, I have to wait until I get married." This is news to both mfTL and Lane, who didn't expect those words to come out of her own mouth. MfTL says he's not sure he's cool with that; neither is Lane. Lane goes to clean the dishes. "You're not getting any tonight," she says. "The least I could do is clean up." MfTL sits back down, balls of blue, re-evaluating the past two years of his life.