Lorelai walks in, and, for once, Luke seems glad to see her. They even share a somewhat convincing kiss, which at one time would have made me so excited, but now just revolts me, because Luke is a jerk, and Lorelai's dumb and will not kick him in the nuts as he so richly deserves. She tells him that he looks older and wiser after his trip with the schoolkids, and he says that must be due to all the time he spent squinting at historical documents. "That's what it is," Lorelai says. "Constitution face." She says hello to Patty, who tells Luke that she's still waiting on her cold banana. Keep on waiting, Patty. Luke tells Lorelai that after spending ten days with his secret daughter, he's throwing her a birthday party at the diner the next day. Lorelai is surprised to hear about this: "Look at you, diving into fatherhood." She tells Luke that if he needs a consultant on party-throwing, she's available: "I've thrown some rockin' pre-teen parties in my time." Luke tells her that he's sure he'll do fine. He's ordered some balloons and a cake. "All good," Lorelai says. "I'm just saying that Rory's birthday scavenger hunt of 1998 is still talked about in hushed, reverent tones." Luke asks whether that's the one where all the kids ended up raiding Taylor's kitchen in the middle of the night. Heee. I would have liked to have seen what they found. Probably a pink apron and fourteen bottles of hand sanitizer.
Luke offers Lorelai some coffee, but she declines, saying that she's had enough that morning already. "Oh, right," he says, smiling. "Battling the hangover." Lorelai blinks, worried that he's heard the whole story of her toast. "Patty filled me in, you know," he says. "Tequila shots, you taking the mic..." Lorelai looks very worried now, and starts rambling that she hadn't realized what she was saying, but he interrupts: "I hear you really belted it out. 'Endless Love.'" Patty jumps in: "The song, honey," she says, hinting hard at Lorelai, who finally catches on that Patty has covered for her with Luke. "Ohhhh," Lorelai says. "Well, is there really any other way to sing 'Endless Love'? I mean, if you're not going to belt it out, you might as well just stay in your seat." True. Luke smirks that everybody does embarrassing stuff at weddings, and goes off to get something from the kitchen. Patty rushes over and explains to Lorelai that she's already gotten to the whole town, and everyone is on board with the "Endless Love" story. Lorelai thanks her, saying she owes Patty one. "Oh, honey, please," Patty says. "I've given more drunken toasts than Colin Farrell. You owe me nothin'." Lorelai thanks her again, and Patty goes on: "That Luke. It may take a mule team, but you're getting him to the altar someday." Poor Lorelai says, "Yeah, someday," and puts her head in her hands, and sighs.