Back in Stars Hollow, Luke is following Lorelai around on her shopping trip, carrying her bags. "You know, you would make the best sherpa," Lorelai tells him. "And the hottest. You could move to Nepal and open your own Hot Sherpa Shop and make a fortune." Luke says he's glad to shop with her, especially because he likes to think he has influence over what she buys. Sure, the guy who wears the same flannel shirt, army jacket, and backwards cap every single day of his life influences one of the most stylishly dressed women ever on TV. Lorelai condenses this all into a simple, incredulous "You do?" Luke insists that he's an important part of the shopping equation -- she is, after all, always asking his opinion. Lorelai smirks: "Yeah, but it's the way I ask: 'Isn't this adorable?' or 'This isn't right, right?' I put your answer right there in the question." Luke is shocked at this manipulation, so Lorelai throws him a bone, saying that she does always try to buy at least one thing he likes, because she knows that whenever she wears it, he'll notice it and compliment her and that will make her appreciate it more and more: "And I'll eventually really grow to like it, and I'll forget that I didn't really like it in the first place and...holy crap, you've picked out all my favorite clothes." Luke says he knew it.
The next block down, Luke points out a toiletry kit in the window that he'd like to get for April's birthday. It has cats on it, and I cannot stop laughing remembering when my friend Tito turned sixteen, just knowing her dad was going to buy her a new car for her birthday. Instead, he gave her -- the least girly, softballiest, most studious young woman I knew -- a vanity table set. That was seventeen years ago, and she's still complaining. Lorelai goes a little too far in discouraging Luke from the toiletry kit -- it is kind of ugly, but for some reason he thinks April will like it, because of the cats, and he really wants to get it for her. "Luke, it's weird," Lorelai says. "It says, 'Happy Birthday, now go clean yourself up.'" Lorelai insists that she knows girls and that it's not the right gift, and says she can take him to the perfect store and show him fifty things that would be better. Luke says that he's getting the toiletry kit, and that he knows Lorelai's an expert on all of this, but he just needs to do this himself. "Then do it," Lorelai says. "I'm just saying let me be part of it." He flatly says no, and she asks why. "Because it's too soon," he says. "Because the minute you get involved in her life, it'll be all over for me." Lorelai looks hurt, and says that's ridiculous. "You're colorful, and funny," says Luke. "You're practically a cartoon character. Kids love you. I wouldn't want to hang out with me, either, after meeting you. She'll like you better; it's just a fact." Lorelai can't believe Luke's saying any of this: "You're her dad!" He nods: "Yes, I am her dad, and this is the way I want it to be." Luke goes into the store to buy the stupid toiletry set, and I am somewhat placated: his speech goes a long way toward explaining why he has been so dumb about getting April and Lorelai together. Of course, it is still stupid, and I think if I were Lorelai, I would grab my shopping bags, tell Luke to call me when he was done with all his ridiculous rules, and walk home.