Gilmore Girls
Swan Song

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Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Lucky Swan

Rory sits with Emily, waiting for Jess to show up. Emily says that Rory didn't have to change her clothes, but Rory says she felt a little dumb in her uniform. Emily says she'll miss it when Rory goes to college. Rory says she'll miss it, too. She says she likes not having to think about what she's going to wear, or who she's going to kiss, or what she's going to think, or thoughts, or thinking. Rory apologizes for Jess's lateness. Emily says they're fine, and that dinner will keep. She's being incredibly calm about all of this. Emily says there was a big tie-up on the 84 earlier, and Jess is probably stuck in traffic. She tells Rory to try him on his cell phone. Rory says that Jess doesn't have one -- that he doesn't believe in them. ["Of course he doesn't. Pinko." -- Wing Chun] Well, they exist, Jess, whether you believe in them or not. Why do you always have to be That Guy? The one who sucks? The one who can't be reached and is late? Emily says that she finds Jess's opinion refreshing, and that technology is encroaching too quickly on every aspect of life. She says it's getting to be where people will want robots to carry them from place to place. Now where's that housekeeper to tell her it's time to walk from the living room to the dining room? The doorbell rings. Rory runs to the door.

It's Jess all right, but he's got a heck of a wicked shiner. He's not talking about it, either. He apologizes for being late. Emily says it's fine and tells him to come inside where it's warm. Rory introduces Jess to her grandmother without offering a name for him to call her. Rory asks what happened to his eye. He says it's a long story and he doesn't want to bore her. Emily asks if it hurts; Jess says it's fine. Rory asks if that's why he was late. Jess says the 84 was jammed. Emily says they knew that. Then they make Kelly Bishop say "hopped up on Bennies and Goofballs," a joke that I think we used up during some John Hughes movie in 1985, didn't we? Emily tells them to take a seat at the table, and takes off. Rory tries to get Jess to tell her about the eye, but he won't. She asks if he was in a fight; he says he doesn't want to talk about it. She asks, he says no. She asks, he says no. She asks, he says no. Then he pulls this bullshit: "Look, Rory? I'm already in a crappy mood. Traffic sucked. Traffic I hit going to a function I didn't particularly want to go to. And I'm thirsty. And I am hungry. So. Let's eat." He's such an asshole, you guys. Would you ever want to be treated that way? Would you ever want someone you loved to be treated that way? He could just tell her what happened and then apologize for being late instead of being so condescending and rude to her. Asshole!

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Gilmore Girls

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