There are only about five eggs, but they plop them on Jess's car anyway. They're chunky, bounce, and mostly fall off the car. Lorelai damns Sherri for not sending them home with more eggs. Rory tells her not to lose her catharsis. Lorelai: "Wait. Is that a siren?" Rory says she doesn't hear anything. Lorelai: "Neither do I. It just seemed like a cool thing to say at that moment." They run back to the car and decide to speed off and pretend the cops are after them. But the car won't make a screeching noise, no matter how hard they try, so they decide to make the screeching noise themselves. They screech off.
Someone else must have also decided it was a good idea to devil-egg Jess's car, because the next morning there are so many egg marks on that vehicle. Lorelai and Rory are giggly that Jess hasn't seen it yet. Lorelai says they should have run for the border -- the one between America and Sephora-Land. Luke walks out and says he was checking out the mob scene.
It's the protest at the church steps. Isn't it Monday morning? Anyway, the crowd has gathered to hear what the Town Loner has to say. One cop has been called. Babette says it's going to happen at any minute. Cardigan Man (back in uniform) asks the police officer if she is locked and loaded. "I'm a tiger ready to pounce, Taylor," she responds. Good job, under-five! Funny! Taylor complains about hippies.
Suddenly, a man walks out from behind the church, but he's really far away so we never see what he looks like. My sources tell me that the Town Loner is played by Daniel Palladino himself, so I'm sure he's protesting these recaps. Everyone wonders what the Town Loner is doing, and whether that giant thing on his shoulder is a dead body or what. Another man walks up and tries to help the Town Loner, but the Loner pushes the man away aggressively, angrily. Maybe the person who told me it was Daniel Palladino was making a joke, saying that the Town Loner was a metaphor for Daniel Palladino, because that makes sense. The Loner goes into the church. Everyone talks about how great it is that they've gathered around, and how lovely this protest has been so far. Babette says it's fun seeing everyone like this. Luke says they see each other every day. Lorelai points out that they don't always do it standing around like this. The Loner's standing at the top of the church holding a rolled-up banner. Cardigan Man assumes the banner's covered in obscenities. The Loner drops the banner, but it's facing the wrong direction. Nobody can read his protest. Lorelai shouts for him to turn it over. As he does, the banner rips and falls to the ground. Everyone moans, disappointed that the Town Loner can't do his protest correctly. Kirk says he saw a flash of a word. It started with an "R." Recaps! Lorelai says they'll just think of every word that starts with that letter that someone could protest. They actually go through with this. "Ragu." "Reptiles." "Robots." The Town Loner starts shouting, and it sounds like "Ne'shell N'degocello." Everyone complains about his diction. Babette says she heard something about Jell-O. "Stop or we will sue!" it sounds like he says. Lorelai heard: "Stop the noodle scooz." Cardigan Man complains that it's not even English. Babette doesn't know what that has to do with Jell-O. "Drop the student schools," Luke heard. "I'm tired of living in Amy's shadow!" I distinctly hear on the third shout. Cardigan Man says they need to stop this protest, since the Town Loner could be saying horrible, blasphemous things up there. Rory says there's no harm if they can't hear him. Lorelai says that the Town Loner might be protesting man's inability to communicate by being intentionally difficult to understand. Rory admires Lorelai's philosophical depth. "I'm seeing trails," Kirk says.