I moved this week. I apologize for the long delay before this recap. I did fall asleep while watching this episode the first time, but it was really because I had moved 9,452 boxes before I turned it on. It's hard to watch this show at one in the morning when you've moved a couch earlier in the day.
We start at the market, where Lorelai is complaining that crossword puzzles make her feel intellectually inferior. Rory tells Lorelai to find better things to do with her time than crossword puzzles, and worrying about how she looks to others because she doesn't do crossword puzzles. Lorelai notices the new bag boy. Rory already knows his name is Marty and that he's CuteDean's sub. Rory knows this because she's got the roaming-est eyes we've ever seen. CuteDean is conveniently out of town visiting his grandmother. Lorelai notes that Marty's bagging style incorporates a jar twirl that's "very Cocktail." He's got schwerve. In fact, he's got too much schwerve -- so much schwerve that Lorelai decides Marty's trying to move in on CuteDean's turf and swoop in to take CuteDean's job while CuteDean's out of town. Poor CuteDean. He can't go anywhere without someone trying to take things he's worked hard to have. Rory, of course, thinks that Lorelai's theory is ridiculous, because she refuses to see the obvious truth about anything concerning CuteDean. There's a ton of Red Bull on the shelf behind them. Tiny market with tons of Red Bull and toilet paper. This is why Lorelai is the way she is. Rory says that someone stole Cardigan Man's ladder last week (I'd ask Jess how he got on that roof the other day), and CuteDean's the only one who can reach the top shelves, so he's got job security. Lorelai calls Marty "Eve Harrington," and suggests that perhaps CuteDean stole the ladder himself to protect his own job security while he was out of town. Lorelai marvels at CuteDean's cunning ways. Rory tells Lorelai to start napping in the afternoons.
Cardigan Man's working the register. He says he likes doing it every once in a while, in order to keep in contact with the clientele. He says he also likes keeping an eye on the "take a penny" jar to ensure that people are actually using it for its intended purpose. Rory and Lorelai see the flyer for "Movie in the Square Night," the annual event at which they show a film outside instead of in the library/bookstore place at which Stars Hollow citizens normally watch films. Rory says they'll be there. Lorelai asks what the movie will be this year. Cardigan Man is evasive, offering only that the film is really good and a real winner. Then he gets defensive about his secrecy. Lorelai concludes that he's showing The Yearling once again, the same movie that has been played for the past three years in a row. Then why are they excited, asking what movie it's going to be, if it's always The Yearling? Cardigan Man says he's tired of Lorelai complaining about the movie every single year. She says she's tired as well, and would like him to pick another movie. Cardigan Man says that Lorelai has no right to complain, since she's never participated in any of the hard work that goes into planning the event. Lorelai pouts as Cardigan Man scolds her. She tells him to pick another movie, insisting that any movie would be better than another year of The Yearling. Cardigan Man gives up and relinquishes his duties to Lorelai, telling her to pick the movie this year. He dares her to find a movie everyone will like. He gives her his "movie-picking crown." Lorelai is very happy to have the crown. Rory says it looks great on her. Lorelai says they should go home immediately, make popcorn, and choose the movie. Rory's happy that she gets to help choose the film, and asks if she can even wear the crown. Lorelai says they'll have to see. I wish there really were a crown that Lorelai had to wear that Taylor loves wearing every year.