Gilmore Girls
Teach Me Tonight

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Jess Is Dumb

Did they drive to Bridgeport to get ice cream? Jess is driving the car Dean gave Rory as he tells Rory to admit that ice cream is better in cones. I wish he's stop saying "cones" like that. "Connnnnes." Jess never looks at the road and take his hands off the wheel to eat his ice cream. He tells Rory to take the wheel, because his ice cream is dripping. Rory freaks out and holds the wheel, but nobody looks at the road even once. Although we saw the car driving in Stars Hollow proper, through the back windshield we can see that they're driving on some kind of highway now. And through the side window, it appears they're driving through Compton. Jess takes the wheel back, but never looks at the road as the two of them flirt and flirt and flirt. Look at the road! Rory asks why Jess is intentionally flunking out of school. Jess answers, "Whatever." Rory talks about how great and brilliant and genius and perfect Jess is. She asks if it's a "cool" thing. Jess says he could care less about being cool. "Couldn't care less," Jess. It's "couldn't care less." Otherwise you do care. Man, why does he have to do every single thing that I hate? Jess says he's not going to college because college is so lame, man. Then Jess starts talking about Lorelai and how she's lame and how everybody sucks because everybody hates him so much. Rory says she doesn't want to hear his "Kurt Cobain-y thing." She keeps going on about how cool and awesome he is. Why don't you just date him, then, Rory? I'm so tired. Jess changes the subject to ask, over-enthusiastically, "So, Courtney! What about you?" Rory tells him that she's going to Harvard. Then she's going to be a journalist like Christiane Amanpour. Jess is pretty sure Rory couldn't hang in a tent with bombs going off all around her. He thinks it's too rough for her. Rory says it's not, and that she hopes it's not, because she's been talking about this forever. What about Fez, Rory? What about Fez?! Nobody's watching the road. Suddenly, Rory doesn't think she can do it anymore because Jess expressed a little doubt. She hates herself and thinks she's worthless because Jess doesn't have faith in her. So now Jess has to tell Rory how cool and awesome she is. Flirt, flirt, flirt. He says he'll help her practice by having her stand in the middle of the street as he drives straight for her, screaming in a foreign language. Rory laughs and says he'll have to learn one first. Jess says it's lucky he's got a tutor. They stare at each other for a long time, neither of them even glancing toward the road. After a bit, Jess says they should probably head back and study, since he promised they'd do that after ice cream. He says they could just turn off the road and just drive around in circles for a while. "Turn right," Rory says. Oh, just do it, already! "As you wish," Jess says, who's so not Westley. Jess turns to make the circles we've been watching them dance in all season long.

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Gilmore Girls

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