Gilmore Girls
Ted Koppel's Big Night Out

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Luke's. Early. Lorelai is collapsed on a table, complaining that she hates football, and that she can't believe Rory didn't try harder to get her out of going to this game. Lorelai thinks she might have forgotten to put on underwear, and asks Rory to check and see if she's wearing any. She then realizes that she has just asked her daughter to check and see if she's wearing underwear: "I hate football." Rory says she needs coffee. Lorelai takes everything out on Brennan: "I hate that kid." Rory asks what happened to giving him a chance. Lorelai says that the chance ended when he dumped a chili-bean omelet on her the other day. Rory mumbles, "Oh, he's coming over here," which was a very funny delivery. He calls them "chicas" and asks for their order. Lorelai doesn't trust giving Brennan her order, because he's not writing anything down. Brennan promises that he's got it all up in his head. Rory asks for rye toast. Brennan asks if she'd like that toasted. As Brennan leaves, Rory tells Lorelai she's still got a better chance of getting the correct order. We get our required Lane cameo here when she enters the diner, furious that Brennan has given her an order of donuts and not bagels. Brennan points out that they both have holes in them. Lane yells at him and repeatedly tells him to get her bagels right now. Brennan instead grabs a pot of coffee and walks around for refills. Kirk asks for a napkin. Brennan pulls one out of his back pocket and gives it to Kirk. Kirk then asks for a napkin to put his napkin on. Hee. Note here that Brennan has put the pot of coffee in his right hand and balanced it there as he got the napkin. That kid should be a fireman! Lane complains to Rory and Lorelai that it's unfair Brennan got the job, because she would have loved working at Luke's. It's one of the few MamaLane-approved places. Brennan brings Rory her rye toast, and asks Lorelai if she had wanted something.

Luke enters the diner at this point, and Lorelai leaves the table to rip Luke a new one. Luke is amazed that Lorelai's going to the Harvard-Yale game. "Do you know what they do at the Harvard-Yale game?" he asks. Lorelai: "They make babies?" Luke: "They play football." Lorelai tells Luke that ever since he hired Brennan, the little spark has gone out of his eyes. It's hell watching him go through this, so he should fire Brennan. Lorelai then spills it: "He doesn't write the orders down. He never brings you food that's hot or yours. He can't distinguish bagels from donuts. He hands out butt napkins. And he's worn that Foreigner t-shirt every single day since he started working here --" (wasn't that yesterday?) -- "and he doesn't know who they are. I asked him." Luke asks for a definition of "butt napkins," so Lorelai tells him what happened to Kirk. Luke calls Brennan over and tells him not to do that anymore. Luke tells Lorelai to give Brennan a chance. He asks Brennan to give Lorelai some coffee. I don't even hear what Luke says next because I'm watching Brennan carry over the orange pot and I'm waiting to hear the shrieks from Lorelai, but Luke stops him and says that it's decaf. Brennan, having to fire too many synapses in a row, leaves the area completely. "Where did he go?" Lorelai asks. Luke leaves to go find him.

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Gilmore Girls

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