In the Coffee Room, Max is busy ad-libbing with an extra: "Stanford has been really amazing." I guess that's all he's allowed to talk about when he's not asking questions about Lorelai. He excuses himself to make flirt-talk with Lorelai, saying that they've run into each other a lot lately. Twice. Once at Chilton, but fine. Max asks if Rory's around. It's Chilton. Lorelai says that Paris is missing. "Well, Paris will come," Max says. "I told her that." Y'all, the magic is gone with these two. What's with the weird chit-chat? So boring. Lorelai says she wanted to talk to him about something.
Lorelai pulls Max into Chilton's one and only classroom. She says they haven't talked since she left him at the altar. "I always meant to call you," she starts, and I don't want to hear the rest of the sentence. And I thought she was going to write him a note. Max says it's okay. Lorelai says that she never explained what happened. "You didn't marry me," Max says. "You didn't love me." Lorelai says that she just wasn't ready to get married. "Because you didn't love me," Max replies. Lorelai says that the person you love isn't always the person you want to marry. Max says he appreciates this, but there's no need for it: "I'm really okay." Lorelai says that she's not saying this because he looks like he's not okay, because he looks great. And she's not saying this just because he looks great, but asks if he's been going to a gym lately. Max says he always wanted to teach at Stanford, and he went and it was wonderful, and if he had gotten married he couldn't have done it. He went away, thought, and now he's fine. Lorelai says that they never got any closure. Max says that life isn't about closure. He says he's okay, over it, and completely sure. Lorelai says she feels stupid. "You are many things, but stupid is not one of them," Max says. No. It's five of them. Lorelai says she's glad she got to see him again. Max remembers that Rory's about to give a speech and leaves. Lorelai stands around, pouting and holding herself.
Charleston tells Rory that she and Paris are up next. Paris still hasn't shown up. Charleston and Richard make small talk. Rory says she hasn't seen Paris yet. This doesn't faze Charleston for a second. "I hope you know both parts," he says before walking back into the room to find two seats for Richard. Richard gives Rory a pep talk, telling her she'll be wonderful. He tells her not to picture the audience in their underwear. He did it once and had nightmares for a week: "Bulgarians in Speedos." Lorelai walks up and asks if Paris is there yet. Rory says no. Then they spot her at the end of the hallway. For some reason, nobody is worried that Paris looks like something horrible has happened. She's walking like a zombie, wearing a purple sweater and sweat pants, her hair a mess. Our first thought is that Jamie has dumped her, having gotten what he wanted. The second thought is that someone has died. The third is that Jamie's friends raped her. These are the three things teenage television has told us to assume. ["If it had been a few weeks later, a fourth thing would be that Paris just found out she's pregnant, and thus is especially not the good kid." -- Wing Chun] Paris wanders into the room to give her speech, not even glancing in Rory's direction.