Gilmore Girls
The Big One

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
Teen Sex Ruins Lives

Paris won't talk to Rory. They take the stage. C-SPAN cameras film. Rory begins the speech. Paris still looks comatose. Why doesn't anybody ask what's wrong? Why won't anyone help her? Poor Paris. Rory has to read the first few lines on her own, because Paris isn't speaking. This doesn't seem to bother anybody. I'll tell you what's troublesome: Rory's public speaking skills. Don't think she's got a job in broadcasting, that's for sure. Paris trembles a little. "You know, it's funny," she starts. "Me standing here before you right now. I've thought about nothing else for four years but this school." In case we can't figure it out, Rory flips through the pages of her script to prove that Paris isn't reciting her speech. "This big, important school with all of its history and tradition and really super teachers. And I dedicated myself to it completely. Heart and soul. Believing in its power." Oh, poor Paris. It is here that my heart breaks for her. Paris holds up a crumpled envelope. It's from Harvard. It's the tiny envelope. "Sorry, Paris. We're not interested. Try again next year. Love, Harvard." Paris says nobody deserves to go to Harvard more than she does. She worked so hard over the past four years. Paris starts breaking down here as she screeches her outrage. "I had sex, but I'm not going to Harvard!" The crowd beings to murmur and moan. Rory tries to wrap up the speech. Paris says that of those two things, the more unlikely was certainly her having sex. Rory wraps it up. "I'm being punished," Paris says. "I had sex so now I don't get to go to Harvard." Yep, that's how it works. We switch to the C-SPAN view as Paris points at Rory and says, "She's never had sex. She's probably going to Harvard." Rory pulls Paris offstage as Paris screams that Rory had better pack her chastity belt. A speechless, breathless Lorelai looks over to Richard to see his reaction. Richard is fast asleep.

Backstage, Paris cries and Rory tries to console her. Paris can't believe she didn't get into Harvard. Six generations of Gellars have gone. She says they had to really not like her for her not to get in. "It's like they know me or something," she says. Rory says she knows this meant a lot to Paris, but she's going to get a great education at another school and it might be a good thing to do something different from the rest of her family. Paris says she's a slut. Rory says she's not. Paris cries that Jamie might not love her anymore or think she's special: "How am I going to tell him that I didn't get into Harvard?" Like this: "Guess who's joining you at Princeton next year!" ["Seriously. And Princeton isn't exactly barber college, so it's not that big a deal." -- Wing Chun] Rory holds Paris and says she doesn't know why Paris didn't get into Harvard, but everything's going to be fine. Lorelai checks in to see if everything's okay. Rory says it is. Lorelai says she'll be outside. Paris says that after all of the trouble this sex thing has caused her, she'd better have been good. She cuddles against Rory's neck. "That's the perspective I know and love," Rory says.

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Gilmore Girls




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