Gilmore Girls
The Big One

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Teen Sex Ruins Lives

Back at home, Rory answers the phone. It's Headmaster Charleston's secretary, connecting Headmaster Charleston and Paris on the line. How late does Charleston work, dude? It's, like, 11 or something. I covet Paris' iBook. Charleston tells the girls that he was impressed with both of their speeches. Paris asks who won. Charleston says that the simple act of completing a task well is a win. He says that he didn't want to have to choose one of them, of course, and since he's the Headmaster he can change the rules. So he is. They both win! Yay! Rory wins everything! And if she doesn't, then Paris wins! They both win everything all the time. Why does anybody else at that school bother signing up for anything? From Yearbook to Student Council to debate to a C-SPAN speech, why even have other students? Charleston tells Paris and Rory to combine their speeches to deliver them together on Friday. He wants the revised speech on his desk by Tuesday. He tells them to enjoy the rest of their weekend. Charleston hangs up, and somehow Rory and Paris are still on the line together. Paris is suspicious of all this. Rory agrees that it sucks. They argue over who should back out, and which one of them loves C-SPAN more. Rory says they could meet at school tomorrow to go over it. Paris suggests they do it over the phone. Paris says she'll call tomorrow at 6. "I can't wait," Rory says, and hangs up.

Zoom! It's tomorrow, 6 at night. The doorbell rings and Rory answers it. It's Paris. She walks inside and they bicker. Paris says they should just do this and get it over with. She offers to go to a pay phone if Rory really had her heart set on using the phone. "Do you have pay phones in this town, or are you still using a Town Crier?" Hee. They go to Rory's bedroom.

Paris puts her stuff down and says they should read each other's speeches first. Rory pouts and hands Paris her speech. "Why did you use this font?" Paris immediately asks. "Because," Rory says, "I was on the crack." Good line. "Did you check these facts?" Paris asks. "Yes, I did." "Rory?" Paris asks. "What, Paris?" "I slept with Jamie." Rory is speechless. "Last night, after we talked," Paris says. "Was it something I said?" Rory asks. This is the best-written scene this show has had in so long. I love it very much. Paris: "I went over there to study and he lit a fire and then we did it. What are your thoughts on that?" Hee. Paris says she's not sure how she feels about it herself yet. Rory must get up and leave the room. Paris follows her. She says she thinks it all went pretty well, since the fire was nice and he didn't put on any make-out music. Rory drinks, heavily. Paris says she wasn't even wearing anything particularly alluring and they were discussing modern-day Marxism, which isn't what she would have deemed a "come and get it" conversation: "But nevertheless he came and got it and I have to figure out what that means to me on a psychological level." She was wondering if she could have a healthy debate about it with Rory so she can come to a reasonable conclusion. Rory flops back on her bed. Paris has followed her. "Are you pro? Con? Undecided?" Rory asks her to stop talking for a second so she can get her mind around this.

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