Gilmore Girls
The Bracebridge Dinner

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Ye Olde Plote

In the kitchen, Sookie is asking Jackson if he's brought her every kind of mushroom. He has. She starts listing them by name. He admits that there's one kind he doesn't have. She tells him that she was just testing him, and that she made that name up. Lorelai enters the kitchen and asks Sookie if she wants to come watch the auditions. Jackson asks what the auditions are for. They're auditioning musicians for the Bracebridge dinner. Jackson is amazed at how much work Lorelai and Sookie are putting into this dinner. Sookie says that this dinner is to recreate an authentic nineteenth-century meal. Lorelai says that everything will be in period, right down to the accents and costumes. Sookie lists off the elaborate menu. Lorelai explains that there will be an elaborate platform where the Squire will sit and conduct the dinner. Sookie goes on about how cool it is to be the Squire. Once Jackson sounds sold, Sookie slips it in that he's playing the Squire. They leave before Jackson can understand what just happened.

Sookie and Lorelai are auditioning the last of the musicians. They're looking for a harpist, which I don't understand because I miss Drella. Come on, what's Alex doing right now that she can't do one episode? Maybe Daniel didn't write the Drella character. Two people on recorders creep me out. There is nothing creepier in the world than someone blowing on a recorder. It's the way the mouth forms around the instrument and that faraway look they have to have so they don't make even creepier eye contact with you. Ick. Jackson tells Sookie and Lorelai that he won't be playing the Squire. Lorelai and Sookie ignore him as they discuss how rich the Bracebridge people are. They're flying their own chartered plane into Hartford. Jackson keeps insisting that he's not playing the Squire and the ladies keep ignoring him. Sookie says they are crazy for doing this dinner. Lorelai tells Sookie that they're so crazy that they're Anne Heche looking for the spaceship in Fresno kind of crazy. "Oh, Quiness," Sookie says. "Nokka don atta," Sookie says. (Which is "Oh, my God. I cannot do this.") "Il ek notra doska donne," Lorelai moans. That means, "Good fortune has been done." I'd tell you why I know that, but then you'd start with the judging. Just know that clearly someone has bugged my apartment. ["I can't tell you either, but damn. I screamed 'shout-out' so loud a car alarm went off outside." -- Wing Chun] A chef shouts that there's a fire in the kitchen. Sookie calmly wraps up her affairs before heading over there. Jackson says that he'll play the Squire if they really want him to, but not if it's just because he fits the costume. Sookie giggles off and Jackson realizes he's only the squire because he fits the costume. Lorelai listens to a non-Drella harpist until she gets a cell phone call. Rudeness prevails as she interrupts the harpist's audition to jabber away on the phone without even an apology or an acknowledgement to the performing harpist. It's Christopher, doing his familiar walk through his apartment set. He asks if Lorelai has a minute. Lorelai just walks away from the poor girl auditioning for a job and sits down to chat with her ex. Christopher asks if Rory can come visit him for a few days. He asks, "Where are you? Heaven?" It's funny enough that I no longer mind the poor harpist who knows she totally didn't get the job. Christopher says he's got a room for Rory and everything, but he wanted to run it past Lorelai first in case she has plans with Rory. He says she can say no and there'd be no hard feelings. Lorelai says that it's up to Rory. Christopher says that he'll let Lorelai run it past Rory and she can get back to him whenever. "No pressure," he says, all perfect like that. Lorelai hangs up and doesn't notice that the harpist has already gone home.

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Gilmore Girls

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