Gilmore Girls
The Bracebridge Dinner

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Ye Olde Plote

Independence Inn. Rory is busy checking guests into the hotel as Lorelai pants into a paper bag. Babette and Morey are the first to arrive. This freaks Morey out. He thinks being first ruins his "street cred." Morey says that Charlie Parker was late to everything. "Charlie Parker had more drugs in him than a Rite-Aid," Babette warbles. Rory sends them to room 8. Babette promises Morey that they can be late to dinner.

Lane arrives next with MamaLane in tow. "My wedding night is going to be very interesting," Lane says. Ha. Rory welcomes them and sends them to room 12. Where is PapaLane? MamaLane thanks Lorelai for having them. Lorelai asks if MamaLane needs help bringing in the rest of their things. "This is my stuff," MamaLane says, holding up a small purse. She then goes into the rest of George Carlin's "Stuff" monologue.

Paris enters with an armful of papers. Rory explains that Paris had to bring her all of the work tonight. Lorelai calls Paris a robot and leaves before she has to have an actual conversation. Paris hands Rory a stack of work and says that Rory's going to have to completely rewrite some of the pieces. Fraulein apparently wrote an article on test anxiety where she spent 99% of the time discussing how stretch corduroy is the best material for low-rise jeans. I wouldn't know. Rory tries to spin the article, explaining that corduroy is a fabric and society has fabrics. Paris is amused, and actually smiles. She tells Rory to give it up. Rory says that she's busy tonight, but she'll get on it tomorrow. Rory explains that the hotel is having a big dinner party. Paris says she'll get out of Rory's way. She adds that Fraulein uses the "Prince" method of writing, with a rebus method of symbols and pictures to represent words. I wish we got to do that in recaps. U R 2 GR8, MBTV. ["Aw! No." -- Wing Chun] Rory stops Paris and asks if she has anything going on tonight. Paris says that her parents are out of town, so she's going to have dinner with her Portuguese nanny and then either finish reading The Iliad or crush the nanny at Monopoly again. Rory asks if Paris would like to stay for dinner and the show. Paris tells Rory that reading The Iliad for the third time isn't pathetic. Rory says she understands, but that she's extending the invitation. Paris gets on her cell phone to call her nanny. I can't believe Paris doesn't invite the sweet nanny to the dinner.

CuteDean enters with PointlessSister. Maybe Daniel wrote Clara's three seconds from last season. Rory asks Clara if her dress is a Stella McCartney. Why would Rory ever ask anybody that? Clara informs Rory that her dress is a Wal-Mart. She says her mother bought the dress for tonight. Why would CuteDean and Clara come but not a Mama or PapaDean? I want to see these people. CuteDean gets mighty pissy when he sees Luke and Jess enter the hotel as well. Rory asks if it's a problem. Dean explains how Jess hit him in his fake fight. Rory asks why Jess would do that, and CuteDean pulls the biggest insult in teen family dramas: the word "jerk." Jess waves toward Rory, and CuteDean says that Jess had better not do that all night.

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Gilmore Girls

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