Angry props to this week for kicking my ass and making me so tired that the last thing I want to go through is this emotional post-breakup episode about Rory. But here I go.
Not even a "Previously on Gilmore Girls." We just open right to Lorelai and Rory, still in a hug at the front door. It's quiet. Lorelai asks what happened. "We broke up," Rory says. "We just...broke up." Lorelai says she doesn't understand, and pets Rory's arm. Rory says that they went to dinner, and walked by the bonfire but it wasn't lit, so they went to "this junkyard" and "sat in a car." Rory then interrupts herself to complain that she forgot Lorelai's meatball. Since she doesn't mention what the car was for or why they were there, I think that Rory doesn't want her mom to know that she had a hard time dealing with Dean's telling her that he loved her. Rory goes on and on about the meatball -- how the waiter had been so nice to bring it to her, and how he wrapped it up in foil shaped like a duck -- and Lorelai steers Rory into the living room, telling her to forget about the meatball and to talk about what happened. In a nice continuity moment, Lorelai has to move the phone from the couch and hang it up so that Rory can sit down. Lorelai asks what happened. "He just broke up with me, okay?" Rory smiles. Lorelai says that Rory's story doesn't make any sense, because CuteDean calls Rory about a zillion times a day, and would do anything for her, and is crazy about her. Rory, obviously still avoiding the issue, says that she has to go to bed.
Lorelai follows and asks Rory to take her through the evening step by step. Rory says that it's unnecessary: "What happened here is we broke up. He didn't want to be my boyfriend anymore. End of story." Lorelai says that it's not the end of the story, and Rory insists that it is. Lorelai says that CuteDean did not plan an entire romantic evening for Rory just to break up with her. Rory grabs a box and starts throwing things into it. Lorelai says that she knows there's more to the story than what Rory's spilling. She asks what Rory's doing. "I'm getting rid of all this stuff," Rory tells her. Lorelai: "What stuff?" Rory: "Everything he gave me, everything he ever touched. Everything he looked at." Rory keeps pouting and tossing as Lorelai asks her to stop and calm down. Rory doesn't: "He doesn't want to be my boyfriend? Fine." Lorelai stops Rory from putting one of Lorelai's own things into the box, and asks whether there's someone else. Rory says that there isn't. Lorelai asks whether he's moving. He isn't. Lorelai asks whether he's dying, or his football team lost a game. "What?" Rory asks snippily. "It's happened," Lorelai sighs. Rory keeps tossing clothes into the box as Lorelai hesitantly asks whether CuteDean tried something or wanted to go further with Rory than she was willing. Rory is offended and says that he didn't do anything like that. Lorelai says that she doesn't have much to go on. Lorelai tries to stop Rory from boxing the pretty gray dress Lorelai made for her. Rory reminds Lorelai that she wore the dress to a dance with CuteDean. Lorelai says that the sweater Rory's tossing is brand new. Rory says that CuteDean said he liked it. "Well, then he's got good taste," Lorelai says. Rory: "He said it brought out the blue in my eyes." Lorelai: "Well, then he's gay." Rory huffs and says that Lorelai isn't funny. Lorelai says that if Rory tosses everything CuteDean ever saw her wear, she's going to have to walk around in a towel. Rory jams a stuffed chicken into the box. It's the chicken CuteDean noticed the first time he walked into her room. Lorelai says that Colonel Plucker didn't do any wrong; he was just sitting there minding his own business when CuteDean picked him up: "What's a stuffed bird to do?" Rory says that she doesn't want any of this stuff in her room anymore. She rips the bracelet off her wrist and tosses it into the box, and then hands the box to Lorelai and says she doesn't want to look at it anymore. Lorelai says that she'll put it away. Rory says that she wants it out of the house: "Throw it in a dumpster. Burn it. I, I don't care. I just, I want it gone." Lorelai sits next to Rory and says that someday, when this is all in the past, Rory might be sorry that she doesn't have some of these things to remember CuteDean. Rory shouts that she doesn't care, and Lorelai takes the message and drops the issue, agreeing to take care of it, and adding that Rory should go to bed and get some rest. Rory gives the saddest pout in the land as Lorelai kisses her goodnight. Lorelai picks up the box, and Rory asks her again to take it "far, far away from the house." Lorelai promises that the box will sleep with the fishes. Rory thanks her, and Lorelai leaves the room.