Gilmore Girls
The Deer Hunters

Episode Report Card
All's Well That Ends Well

There is fast rockabilly music playing as Rory races (within reason) toward Chilton. There's a stop sign on Mapletree Lane (honest) where she pauses for an instant and calls Lane, who is serenely lounging in her closet. She has one of those lamps that throw circles of bright light around the room. It all looks very relaxing. Rory is studying on her way and thinks she left some notes at Lane's. Lane doesn't see anything. In a flash, the car shakes and you hear a very large "whack." A deer hit the car. Just plumb ran right into the car. "I just got hit by a deer!" Rory marvels. Lane: "You hit a deer?" They go over the semantics for a minute: didn't hit but got hit. Rory explains that she's at a stop sign. They continue their conversation outside the car; Lane wants Rory to put salt down to attract the deer, but Rory simply wants to know if the deer is okay. "Rory! Your test!" Lane reminds her. What time is it? It's 7:40 AM! "No!" screams Rory.

Cue the rockabilly music again as Rory bounds down an empty hallway. It's 8:15 AM. Her hair's a mess. Her shirt's a mess. Her socks are a mess. And she's late. She apologizes for being late. Max informs everyone they need to keep working on their tests, adding, "Ms. Gilmore. You're going to have to wait in the library." He won't let her take the test. Those are the rules. Rory starts to explain the sequence of events that led to this one: "But you don't understand. I was up all night studying and then I missed my bus so I had to drive. So I'm driving down this road and I stop and I get hit by a deer." You hit a deer? The semantic thing again. Rory squeals, "You don't believe me? I've got antler prints on the side of my mother's car." Rory, come on. She begs, "No! You have to let me take this test. I know everything there is to know about Shakespeare." As she starts to ramble on about her knowledge of the bard, Paris the Evil leans into her Blonde Ambition pal and says, "Loser."

The fiery demons which lurk inside a sixteen-year-old who has been studying non-stop for a week only to miss the test that would have redeemed her in the eyes of her classmates are unleashed as she turns to Paris the Pain-in-the-Ass: "And just what is wrong with you, huh? You already have everything! You have the grades and the status. What the hell is wrong with you that you have this constant need to be the biggest jerk in the world?" Word. Max tries to drag Rory outside, but she's still yelling at Paris: "What's up? What's up, quippy? What's with the silence, huh?" Max orders her to get her butt outside, now! The hissyfit doesn't stop there; on her way out, Rory screams at the All-American guy who keeps calling her Mary: "And for the last time, the name is RORY!"

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Gilmore Girls




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