Gilmore Girls
Gilmore Girls

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A- | 544 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Monet, Monet

Jackson and Sookie's. The house is filled with "sad, droopy balloons." Lorelai has a large selection of ski vests we haven't seen the likes of since Marty McFly escaped the Libyans. Sookie's resting on the couch, following the advice of Bruce, their midwife. Bruce is a lady, and is being portrayed by Rusty Schwimmer, who has been in Six Feet Under, among other things (enter shameless self-serving plug here). Bo enters the living room here, on his own cell-phone call, loudly repeating that it's going to cost another fifty bucks to change his flight again, complaining that it's six-hours' worth of pay. After he hangs up the phone, he notes, "She sounded hot." Heh. Sookie suggests that Bo and Jackson go for a walk and do something. "But there's nothing to do in this hick town," Bo complains. "Not like Bogalusa." Jackson says he needs help picking the zucchini in the back. "Wow, you can cut the sexual tension with a knife," says Lorelai, playing with her gigantic skinny scarf.

Enter Bruce, who says that the bedroom is now prepared for "the baby." She says "the baby" like that, like it's in quotes. "There's someone new here," Bruce says, not happily, to Lorelai. Sookie introduces Lorelai as her best friend, and Bruce immediately intuits that Lorelai is anti-midwife. Lorelai says she's not the source of the anti-midwife energy Bruce is sensing, and Sookie backs Lorelai up. Bruce leaves for the bedroom. Lorelai notes that Bruce has strong hands. Sookie says that Bruce ate a whole jar of crunchy peanut butter in one sitting. Bruce walks by and tells Sookie to lie on her side. Because that's the position she's going to be in for delivering the baby, she wants Sookie to get used to it. "Less tearing this way," Bruce says, prompting Lorelai to beg her to get that image out of her head. Sookie tells Lorelai that Bruce spent two years in China. Lorelai: "Oh, I hear they've got great Chinese food there." Sookie and Lorelai guffaw; Bruce and I remain silent. Bruce asks Lorelai to leave the negativity at home when she's there for the baby's delivery. Lorelai swears she's not anti-midwife, and that being so would be as dumb as being anti-best friend. I'm biting my tongue, Lorelai. Bo and Jackson enter, bickering that Bo was kicking rather than picking Jackson's zucchinis. Bruce immediately puts them to work, saying that at all times they should be doing something to serve "the baby." She sends them out to buy new balloons and flowers for "the baby." The strummy starts as Lorelai sits erect. "She didn't give me any instructions," Lorelai worries. Sookie says it's probably best for Lorelai to remain still until further instruction.

Gilmore Girls

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