The festival. It looks like it's happening indoors, but it's not. Taylor glares at Hank, who is sitting in the front row. Hank glares back.
Backstage, Miss Patty gives the five-minute call. Rory stops two kids and says they look so cute dressed as Chinese acrobats. She says she played the same part seven years ago. "You smell!" one of the kids growls. Didn't they already do this punchline this year of kids telling people they smell? "And we respected our elders when I was a Chinese acrobat," Rory says, going back to her makeup. "I hate kids," I think Andrew says. Kirk is happy with the way his Jesus is coming along. The Troubadour walks up and wants to sit next to Kirk, but Kirk won't let him. Lorelai tells Rory that one of the acrobats said Lorelai's breath smells stinky. "They're running wild," she says. "Acro-brats, I call them," Rory says. Lorelai gives Rory her ferret, prompting them to decide that there are no such things as friendly or cute ferrets. Tell that to these guys. Miss Patty suggests that Taylor take up smoking to get out of her hair. Lorelai calls the ferret Taylor's cousin, and makes him say hello. Taylor complains that Hank is front and center, trying to psych him out. Rory asks Lorelai to talk more like the ferret. Miss Patty asks if Sookie's okay. Lorelai says she's fine. Rory asks if Sookie was shaking Rory in the middle of the night, asking her what motivated her to come out of her mother. Lorelai says that Sookie got a little spooked. She admires Rory's costume. "I feel very painty," Rory says. Lorelai leaves to go change. "Freeze good," she says. Kirk says he's ready. Lorelai points out that he's still wearing his Gumby/Pokey watch. Kirk says it's a collectible, and not a kid's toy.
Taylor starts the festival, which is in its 43rd year. The festival, considering it's for all of Connecticut, is a rather sparsely-attended affair. Taylor says that Woodbury was supposed to host this year, but due to the "little moisture over there," they basically said "Oh, well, whatever, never mind." Hello, hello, hello, how low. Taylor says that Stars Hollow was happy to step in to continue this vital tradition. Everyone applauds.
Andrew is hitting on the Art Nouveau Clock Girl. Miss Patty says that the fire department has shown up because some "dingbat" parked in the red zone. She wants to know who parked there. Kirk looks guiltily into his bible. That's when the Troubadour squeals. "You Judas!" Kirk bellows. Miss Patty tells him to move his car. Who would drive to the town square, anyway? Kirk asks the Troubadour why he doesn't kiss Kirk on the cheek before he betrays him. "You're gonna get towed," the Troubadour whines. Kirk tells him to stay away. The Troubadour says he's tired of Kirk's "holier-than-thou attitude." Kirk storms off. Miss Patty tells Rory that she's on. They open with the new piece? Miss Patty asks Art Nouveau Clock Girl for her lighter.