Okay, so they're in the Hemingway class again, and we know that it's Friday, so whatever. WHATEVER! Rory is giving Trevor the eye. The teacher wraps up class, saying which Hemingway they'll tackle next week. Or maybe tomorrow. Or perhaps even yesterday, with these Slaughterhouse Five rules of time and space. Rory begins chatting up Trevor, going on about how great it is that they get to sit and talk about books and get graded on it. Rory says she loves talking about good books, bad books, and really thick magazines. Trevor puts his bag over his shoulder and gives Rory a polite brush-off.
Rory follows him out in the hall and says she also likes to eat. She says when she talks about a book she gets really hungry. Like how right now she's starving, and will probably be for quite some time, including Saturday night. Slow Trevor's all, "Are you saying you want to go to dinner Saturday night?" Rory mocks shock, and says it's really sudden, but yeah, she'd love to go to dinner on Saturday night. Rory's hair in this scene: un-good. Parted strangely and pasted to the side of her head in such a manner that she looks like the Gerber baby. Trevor says he'll pick Rory up at 7:30. As Rory walks away, she tells Trevor he's really persistent. Trevor raises an eyebrow.
Sookie's naming her kid Davey. No, there's nothing we can do about that. Lorelai has worn the outfit voted number one by MILFashion.com -- boots, mini-kilt, red and black argyle sweater vest, barely buttoned white button-down, and cat-eye glasses. Y'all, be happy that it's a boy, because if Sookie and Jackson had a girl, they were going to name her Colgate. What's the nickname for a Colgate? Coley? Gate? Colgay? Colg? And also: naming someone a nickname is always bad news. People are gonna call Davey David all the damn time. Oh, man. Right here as I was turning into an old curmudgeon, at the same time some damn kid came driving past my house, blasting his music, and I actually looked up with a sneer because I was in the middle of typing. But it's even funnier because I'm going to a wedding this afternoon, so I'm currently wearing my hair in rollers. And I'm in pajamas. So: hair in curlers, ratty pj's, lukewarm cup of coffee by my side as I complain about loud music and names for babies. I am the very woman I never wanted to be. Sookie says that Colgate is a family name, and that Jackson's great-grandmother was named Colgate. "And what's worse, she looked like a Colgate," Sookie winces. Hee. Sookie reminds us that Jackson doesn't know it's going to be a boy yet. Sookie realized that if she didn't put up a fight about Colgate, then Jackson would realize they were having a boy, and that would spoil it, so Sookie pitched a fit about Colgate, and they got into a huge fight and now they aren't speaking, so everything is wonderful. Sookie's fake belly then gets smashed by Governor Un-Elect Gallagher's Sledge-O-Matic for impersonating a watermelon. Sookie says she's picked out the stove for her kitchen -- an Avery -- and worries that it's too expensive. But Lorelai's got a credit card, so nothing's too expensive. Sookie says she'll call Traci Lords as soon as she gets home. Lorelai makes a grunt on her name, and Sookie wonders that the stove is too expensive. Lorelai says that it's fine, but that since Traci Lords knows Emily, and they've bonded, she's not sure if she can work with her. Sookie tries to say that Lorelai can't cancel on Traci Lords, that she's being irrational, but Lorelai is taller, and taller women always get to be more irrational. "Sookie, my whole life, my whole existence, my essence, my being, my ability to be this sparking creature standing here before you, all of this depends on the complete and total separation of my life from my mother's life. That's how it works." Thank you, LorelaI MeMore. Sookie reminds Lorelai of all the other designers they met before and didn't like, including one who wanted to put a tiny mannequin in each room so the lonely people had someone to talk to. There was also someone who apparently said "purple, purple, purple" a lot. Sookie says they then met Traci Lords and she was perfect. She begs Lorelai to give Traci Lords a chance. Lorelai grumpily agrees to try. They chit-chat about talking later, explain where they're going next and zzzzzz.
Luke's. Lorelai enters and asks what's going on. Luke pulls out a pile of messages that he's taken for Lorelai while she was gone. Insanely rude, I know. But that's our Lorelai. Luke screams that he's not taking messages for Lorelai anymore. Lorelai begins quietly apologizing. Luke asks if she has business cards printed up. Lorelai says that people know she's there a lot. It's called a cell phone, Lor. Use it. Luke says he missed a call from his meat guy because he was on the phone discussing a particular horse's deviated septum. Lorelai says she'll call all of those people today and tell them to never call her at Luke's ever again. Lorelai asks if a package arrived for her today. "Wha-- what?" Luke scoffs, and Lorelai quickly apologizes. Some guy named Ed leans in and politely tells Luke that he's "cutting it kinda close." Luke flips out on poor Ed, saying he had no idea how close Ed was cutting it today. He yells for everyone to drop everything, since Ed is cutting it kind of close. He tosses some tickets at Ed. "You seem mad," Ed says. Luke tells Ed to enjoy the game, and to choke on a hot dog while he's at it. Ed: "I have to tell you, Luke. I am never accepting anything free from you again." Hee. Luke follows Ed to the door, calling him a real master of fear. He screams out the door for Jason and Freddy to look out, now that ol' Ed is on the loose.