Gilmore Girls
The Fundamental Things Apply

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
Rory Bores People

Antique store. Traci Lords and Sookie are checking stuff out as Lorelai meanders in the back of the shop. Ooh, that's an ugly red leather jacket they've got on Traci Lords. Lorelai is all noncommittal about the things that Traci Lords has picked out. Lorelai wants to leave, and thinks they need more time before they start buying things. Sookie wants to start buying, but then she sees that the bench costs fifteen thousand dollars, and she's no longer interested. But Lorelai, who doesn't want Traci Lords to know that they have money issues, says that the price of the bench isn't a problem at all. Lorelai goes on to say that their lives are perfect and they have no complaints of any kind. Traci Lords, who needs a reason to leave the scene so Lorelai and Sookie can talk, says she sees a lawn jockey outside that looks very interesting. Leaving the jokes alone about the little man. Stepping away from the jokes. She leaves. Lorelai tells Sookie that she thinks Traci Lords has been talking to Emily about them. She doesn't want any personal information leaked to her, because in Emily's hands they are weapons. Sookie says there's no way that Traci Lords would talk to Emily. Lorelai points out that Emily somehow found out that Sookie is pregnant. Sookie says that Traci Lords couldn't have told Emily, since they only met in person half an hour ago. Sookie says that Lorelai is getting crazy, and she needs to go outside and talk to Traci Lords right now. She pushes Lorelai outside.

Hee. Traci Lords is bent over, checking out the lawn jockey's crotch. I'm not kidding. Lorelai must have had a hickey or something this week, because she's in another turtleneck, this time a dress. Lorelai says she feels silly mentioning this, but she's uncomfortable with Traci Lords knowing Emily. She says they don't have the smoothest of relationships, and they're very different, so she feels weird sharing things with her. Traci Lords promises she hasn't talked to Emily in a long time. Lorelai says she feels stupid. Traci Lords says that she liked working with Emily, but the inn is the kind of thing she loves doing. "I would be heartsick if I lost this opportunity," she says. She promises she hasn't talked to Emily in months, and doesn't see herself talking to her in the future. Lorelai agrees to keep Traci Lords on. "Really? I'm so glad," Traci Lords says. Oh, my God. Traci Lords and the lawn jockey are wearing the same red jacket. Hee! Lorelai doesn't want the lawn jockey until Traci Lords tells her that Emily would hate it. "Wrap it up," Lorelai says.

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Gilmore Girls




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