Tana comes into the common room wearing Rory's Chilton outfit. She's so excited to wear it to the party that no matter how stammery Rory's concerns are, she can't be persuaded to take it off. The best is when Rory informs her that it's her Chilton uniform, Tana nods, smiles, and kind of points at the Chilton insignia. Hee. Paris runs in to discuss what their room's theme will be. Note that Rory is packing up her precious belongings to hide during the party. Rory doesn't think the room needs a theme, but Paris wants it to be, maybe, the deep-conversation room, since Rory already nixed the idea of its being the make-out room. Paris says that this party allows her the chance to start all over. Nobody knows the old Paris here. She can introduce people to the fun Paris Gellar. She wants everything to be different this year. Rory -- touched by Paris's confession -- reluctantly allows Paris to have one burning candle in the room. Thanks, Emily. Paris is ecstatic to be granted a candle. I love Paris's shirt. I wish there were a rummage sale at the end of the season where you could go and buy all the old outfits.
At Aaron Thompson's richy-rich party, Lorelai is trying to con some kid of out of his ring. But the kid won't do it, blah blah blah preciouscakes. Helen Thompson hates her life. She brings in two more kids for costumes. Their names are Redmond and Riley. Who names someone Redmond? Lorelai introduces herself as Cruise Director Julie. Another kid runs up and whines, "Lorelai! My hood is loose!" Riley -- apparently quite an asshole -- says, "Her name's Julie, stupid!" Then Redmond, Riley, and Hoodie get into a fight about cruise directors and whatever, in the course of which Hoodie calls Riley a retard. I had to turn the closed-captioning on because asshole Riley's a mumbler. He says, "You fart with your face." There are times when I remember why I don't have any children. And those times are ages two to twelve. Lorelai tells them that Lord of the Rings is all about the love. Hoodie says it's about the destruction of all mankind. Lorelai tells them to go play lovingly. Helen is upset to find out that Lorelai hasn't brought any swords for the kids to play with. A girl runs up and whines that Riley (seriously, this kid's an asshole) told her that only boy Hobbits can go up to Mount Doom. Lorelai, for some reason, tells her that's true, but that's because girl Hobbits have to do much more dangerous things: "Ever heard of a Brazilian bikini wax?" Do not leave this woman unattended with your children. Sookie shows up here and waves her hand. "So girls go on adventures, too?" the little girl asks her. "And they go in heels," Lorelai says back. Yay, gender inequality for all. Sookie asks if Raleigh and Cheech are here. Those are their two hired chefs, I guess, because Lorelai says they've been chopping away for an hour. Sookie asks if there are enough costumes. Lorelai says that the screen is up, the tables are set, and four kids are crying, so they're right on schedule. Lorelai shouts that it's coming up on Elevenses and the Hobbits are hungry. The kids cheer back, so Sookie runs to the kitchen. The sword man shows up, and the kids swamp him. Lorelai and Helen look at each other nervously, which I don't understand, since Helen was just wanting swords but Lorelai didn't have any. Who's the sword guy? Why the worry? What? No explanation? Okay. I'm cool with letting it all go. I totally don't care about Hobbits, anyway.