Props to Jackie, who I just met at a party last night, where she began telling me about this awesome website where she recently spent hours reading recaps of Gilmore Girls.
Previously: Rory. Yale. Nicole. Yale. Yale. Fighting. Married. "Married?" "Married! Sheesh!" Yale. Tomorrow. Which is...now.
As Rory jams a few more aerosol cans into her suitcase, she complains that it's all Lorelai's fault for making her have too much stuff, by inculcating in her a rampant penchant for consumerism. I turn to Stee and say, "Five bucks, Daniel Palladino wrote this episode." Rory asks when she became one of those girls with dozens of beauty products, most of which are expendable. For me it was the day I stepped foot inside a Sephora. "It used to be a touch of mascara, dab of Coppertone, zip, bam, boom," Rory adds. Lorelai shouts from upstairs that she only heard Rory say "Copper" and "boom." Stee asks how I can tell that Daniel Palladino wrote it. "High W.P.M.," I answer. Rory asks what's taking Lorelai so long upstairs. Lorelai says she's looking for the camera. "Oy vey, she's looking for the camera," Rory moans. "I heard that," Lorelai says as she comes down the stairs, missing the opportunity to execute a perfect You Can't Do That On Television moment. "That she hears," says Rory. Lorelai is excited to record important moments in Rory's life with her camera. Rory asks whether Luke knows that Lorelai can't drive stick, since the truck she borrowed from him has a standard transmission. Lorelai says she can drive stick. "You can stir coffee with a stick, but you can't drive a stick," Rory notes. Lorelai is glad she didn't choose to record that ugly moment in her daughter's life. As Rory grabs her trash bag of clothes, Lorelai says that this is a good moment to record, the moment Rory leaves for Yale. Unfortunately, Lorelai isn't very happy with any of the poses Rory offers, and suggests that she bust out the "going-off-to-college walk," which she then demonstrates. "You look like Alfalfa coming to pick up Darla," Rory says. Lorelai hands Rory the trash bag, but complains that it looks like Rory's taking out the trash. Rory says that's enough, and they're leaving. Lorelai says they'll have to make do with one of the pictures she already took, and that she'll Photoshop an important person next to her, seeing her off, like Henry Kissinger or Lady Bird Johnson or Pat Summerall. Rory suggests Orson Welles. Lorelai says it can't be a dead person. Rory says that Pat Summerall is dead. Lorelai says he isn't. Rory says he is. Lorelai says he's not. She says Lady Bird Johnson is dead. Rory says she's not. Lorelai asks for a bet. Rory says five bucks. Lorelai says they should Google them right now. Rory says they have to get to Yale. Lorelai says that Yale can wait for a Google. Rory pulls Lorelai out of the house, without so much as a goodbye to her home. And since they started this bet but never finished, I'll let you know that both Pat and Lady Bird are alive and kickin'.