The tour. Tess is telling this group of girls that the dining-hall hours are set in stone, and if you miss it, you don't eat. Finally something that sounds like my own college experience. "And it's a post-9/11 world, so your IDs are important," she says. I saw how strict security was back when Tess handed Rory's dorm keys to some girl on the street who just happened to be Rory. Tess goes on about how important the IDs are -- that students should "always, always" have them, and that they operate the laundry facilities and are used as meal cards as well, so we know that Rory is fixing to lose her ID in about two episodes. Another orientation advisor leads her tour through, saying that if someone's stupid enough to get drunk, she will not hold a bucket for them. She says that street parking is severely restricted, so they should walk or take a shuttle when they can. Tess tells the other advisor that she's touring the "first floor, Durfee." The other advisor says she's walking "third floor, Bingham." They make fake sympathy sounds about their freshmen. Tess tells everyone to get an internet ID whether or not they think they'll use it. Oh, I bet it's barely used at all at Yale, huh? The internet? "It'll be your name at Yale dot E.D.U. and there's no changing what you get." Then I guess they all already have internet ID's, huh? The girl in line behind Rory begins teasing Rory for taking notes, asking if she thinks there's going to be a test. Tess shouts that there are a hundred girls behind them waiting in line to get their IDs, so they need to keep things moving. Unfortunately, we can see that the line only goes about ten people back. Tess tells them not to "get precious" about their ID photos. I had to wait in line for three hours to get my ID. It was 108 degrees, and in the middle of Hour Two, I got my period. I turned around to the guy in line behind me and said, "You have two options. You can be a dick and take my space when I go to the bathroom, or you can let me back in and do something nice today." He let me back in. It was the first time I had ever been truly assertive to a stranger, but I was angry, and hot, and sweaty, and bleeding, and I couldn't believe how inefficient the system was that it takes three hours to get a student ID, but you need one to do anything on campus, and there's only one place to get one in one of the largest universities in the nation. By the way, best picture ever taken of me. I'm sweaty, I'm pissy, I'm so jaded -- I look like a model. I've never taken a better picture before or since. I still have my student ID. I love it. A guy who looks like Jess is running the photo ID computer, and he tells Rory to sit down. Before she can do anything, he's taken her photo. For some reason, the monitor that shows what the camera sees is facing us, and not FakeJess. A stunned Rory wanders way from the folding chair.
Episode Report CardPamie: B | 950 USERS: B-
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