Gilmore Girls
The Lorelais' First Day At Yale

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
But What About The Mattress?!

Yale. I guess it's not too far from Stars Hollow. Lorelai and Luke pull up in the truck. Lorelai says he's being very nice, and that this is above and beyond the call of duty. Hee. She said "duty." Luke pays the meter. Lorelai tries to bring up the mattress again. Luke says he just wanted to make sure his truck got home safely without the mattress. Lorelai says she misses their friendship. Tess appears and asks about the mattress. Luke says that they were just driving the mattress around New Haven for a while to air it out. Tess leaves when Luke promises to bring it back inside. Lorelai and Luke start unloading the truck. He asks what they do with the mattress. He shouts again, causing Tess to look as offended as if Luke had shouted, "Should I throw the baby out, or do you think someone will pick it up if I leave it on a bench?"

Rory meets Lorelai outside her dorm room. She says that Lorelai just has to see this for herself. She opens the door. Lorelai sees Paris and gasps. "No!" Rory: "Yes." Rory tells Lorelai that the other guy there is Terrence, Paris's life coach. Lorelai gasps again. "Like on Oprah?" Rory nods. "Yes." "No!" "Yes." Paris and Terrence are currently setting up her crafts corner. "No!" "Yes." Paris runs over and gives Lorelai a hug. Paris introduces Lorelai to Terrence. "Nice to meet you finally!" he says. Paris tells Lorelai that they still have a bit of a journey yet to finish. Lorelai promises to clear her schedule. Paris says she was just finishing up her crafts corner. Terrence has shown her that working with her hands calms her nerves. "Where are we gonna put the couch?" Tana asks. Paris immediately screams at her, "Why don't you just --!" Tana gasps, and Terrence gently scolds Paris: "Two steps forward, three steps back." "But she was baiting me!" Paris pouts. Terrence says, "Fish can choose not to bite." Lorelai and Rory look at each other. Paris takes a deep breath and says they'll figure it out. Paris walks away, as does Tana. Luke sticks his head in. "Is this the place?" I guess he hopes so. Luke begins pulling the mattress back inside the room. Lorelai says he can't do that. Luke says he's not taking it back out. He says hello to Rory. Lorelai says they have to unload bags and boxes first. Luke says that Tess has been staring at him about the mattress, so he had to do something. Lorelai tells him to bring the mattress back out once it's dark and Tess is gone. Luke says the mattress is heavy, so he had to get help from a guy actually named Chip, and now he has to go help Chip unload because that was the deal. Lorelai tells Luke to blow Chip off: "He's probably busy taping his Carmen Electra poster over his bed." Luke says that the mattress stays. He leaves for Chip. "Oh, no! My glue gun leaked on my macaroni!" Paris screams. Terrence tells her to compartmentalize and breathe. Paris does. Rory says they should bring the mattress in. Lorelai screams that she's got a crisp Ben Franklin for anyone willing to make a mattress disappear, no questions asked. It's unheard of that a college student would decline her offer of a hundred bucks. ["Maybe at the Not Yale schools that you and I attended, but presumably Yale is full of Richie Riches who wouldn't bother to cross a hallway for a hundred dollars." -- Wing Chun] And there are so many ways that they could easily dispose of this mattress right here and now, so let's not waste any time discussing how pointless this subplot is.

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Gilmore Girls

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