Lorelai is eating pizza from the box at the sink. Oh, man, that girl needs a friend. Anyway, she drops a piece and stumbles all the way to the ground, making things worse. She puts one arm in the air and says, "And...scene!" I'm pretty sure this must have happened at the craft-services table just minutes before they were starting this scene and the director said, "Let's do that!" because it looks a little bit like they're trying to recreate magic here, and it falls flat. Lorelai starts to clean up, and Rory catches Lorelai sweeping crumbs under the sink. Heh. I have been known to do that, too. Man, how close is Yale? Because Rory is just driving all over the state of Connecticut tonight. Rory tells Lorelai that Paris got back and is not with Jamie anymore. Lorelai wants to know all the dirt. Rory says that Paris is seeing a Yale professor: "It's so weird." Lorelai isn't as upset with Rory for holding onto this information as I thought she'd be. Rory spills it all, including seeing Michael York and Paris making out on more than one occasion. Lorelai says she can't believe Paris is doing an older man. Rory says that she didn't say Paris was "doing" him -- just that she was kissing him. Lorelai says that when you're "doing" an older man, you're probably "doing older-man things." Rory is grossed out, because she's virginal. Lorelai seems kind of fine with this, but it's because she assumes that the professor in question is in his thirties or forties. I would think she'd assume he was in his twenties or early thirties, since thirty-five/forty places him at Lorelai's age, and I would think Lorelai would be grossed out by that. When she finds out that the professor is a friend of Richard's, Lorelai is as grossed out as...well, we are. Rory tells Lorelai how he and Paris met. "Sixty? Like, sixty-sixty?" Lorelai asks, adding that she now knows who Woody Allen's next leading lady will be. Rory says she's not even sure Paris has broken things off with Jamie. Rory says it's not fair: Jamie's a nice guy, a patient guy, and Paris shouldn't be doing this to him. Lorelai gets the best line of the season: "Oh, honey. If she likes another guy, there's nothing you can do about it. Let us all...remember Dean." Rory says it's different, as she didn't cheat on Dean with an older guy -- an older guy who has kids, no less. Lorelai asks what Yale would say if they knew about this. Rory says that he's risking everything -- his job, his reputation. "Yes, well, he'll always have Paris," Lorelai says with such a look of satisfaction. Rory: "How long have you been waiting with that one?" Lorelai says she had a feeling the opportunity would present itself eventually. Rory hopes that this is a phase that will pass. Lorelai goes to answer the phone, noting, "Yeah, well, or...he will." Hee! It's Michel on the phone, upset. Lorelai says she's on her way. What time is it? What day is it? Lorelai asks Rory if she'll be there when she gets back. Rory says she will, because Paris was getting out her potter's wheel as Rory was leaving. Lorelai says she'll pick up Chinese. "Or we could just eat what's under the sink!" Rory suggests. "Ah, the wit," Lorelai says. "Get egg rolls." Lorelai reminds Rory that old guys don't like 'em bossy.
Michel is watching Davey for reasons that make absolutely no sense. And hey, just a suggestion. To enjoy this scene, pretend Davey is a puppy or maybe a child a little bit older than two months old. Then it's kind of cute and doesn't make your estrogen flare up in a protective mom-lifts-car kind of way. So, yeah. Here's what happened. (Side note: Michel refers to Jackson as "The Farmer," and that's damn funny.) Michel was playing a game to stop Davey crying, and it involved rolling the baby up in a blanket and then flipping him out. He called the game "baby crepe," but you might call it "Snap Davey's neck, because he still can't hold up his own head" or "Centrifugal Force Cartilage Snap." Regardless, in this world where babies are...bowling pins, I guess, Michel (who can't stop referring to Davey as an "it" (I hear ya, Michel)) was rolling this baby in and out of the blanket until the baby somehow rolled underneath the bed, where he...got stuck somehow, and then fell asleep. He's now sleeping peacefully. If Davey had been rolled underneath my bed, he'd be suffering an asthma attack, choking on hundreds of dustbunnies. Michel is surprised to find out that the baby is named Davey, since he's been calling him "Truman." Better name. And then, to make things even worse, they decide to lift the bed (Michel tries to take off his shirt to do it, but Lorelai makes him stop. Stupid Lorelai) and pull the baby out from under it, and if you weren't one digit away from calling child-protective services before, you've now programmed it on your speed dial, because it appears that Lorelai and Michel are fixing to kill that baby through some kind of Three Stoogery. But Davey's fine, and Michel is exhausted, and he admits that he doesn't want Tobin to replace Michel in Sookie's and Lorelai's lives. I don't know much about the man who plays Michel, but one of the things we've discussed before in this living room was whether the accent was real. We decided it was until this very scene, where it slips often enough that I now think it's been excellently put on all these years. Lorelai promises that Michel isn't going to be replaced by Tobin: "We like Tobin. We are addicted to you." Lorelai says that as long as Michel stays far, far away from Davey from now on, they will continue to love him. Suggestion: never speak of this night to Sookie.