Yale paper...newsroom thingy. Rory and Paris are making newspaper hats. Rory puts hers on. It's kind of like a bucket head. Paris tells her it stinks. Rory says it's just a newspaper hat, and that isn't supposed to spark a trend. This is when Paris puts her own hat on, which is totally cute and very Jackie O, with a little newspaper flower on the side. Rory asks how she did that. "Martha Stewart," Paris answers. Rory can't believe Martha once did a show on newspaper hats. Then some guy in the back -- a redhead in a hoodie -- screams like Howard Dean at a rally, and then rants about having to make a hat. He calls it academically approved torture, and says that these hats have nothing to do with being able to write for a newspaper. Rory lets us know that this guy's name is Glenn. Paris tells him that this is tradition. Glenn calls it hazing. He refuses to do it. This is when Doyle walks up and informs Glenn that if he doesn't wear the hat, he's not getting on the paper. Glenn asks for another sheet of newspaper. Doyle then gives a very, very, very long speech about how important this paper is, and how tonight is a much-beloved tradition, when they stay up all night and make the paper. Doyle compliments Rory, Paris, and Glenn. Then he complains about Time for about a minute and a half. What day is it now? Sunday? Doyle concludes by demanding a cup of tea. Paris asks Rory why she never told Paris what she thought of Paris's article on Michael York. Rory says she merely skimmed it. Paris says she trusts Rory's opinion and would like to discuss it. Paris's phone rings. "No phone calls while you're wearing The Hat!" Doyle shouts, but Paris coos into the phone, ignoring Doyle, and steps outside for some privacy. Rory tells Paris that she's not supposed to leave while wearing The Hat. Paris doesn't care. Glenn -- wearing his hat like a Sheik -- tells Rory it's a good thing that high school had already beaten all of the self-esteem out of him. Hi, Rory. Love your bra. It's so rigid. It's the star of this scene.
Digger's place. Digger can't believe Lorelai talked through an entire movie. Dump her, Digger. ["Unless it was Honey, of course." -- Wing Chun] "Well, nothing else was happening!" Lorelai protests. Digger says that there was an entire movie with people in costume, and horses. Lorelai complains that the horses never talked. Digger says this wasn't a talking horse movie. As Digger pours wine, Lorelai complains that Digger is "vibing" her movie-watching habits. Digger insists that he isn't, but tells Lorelai that the large man in a wife-beater who was sitting in front of them wanted to discuss Lorelai's movie-watching habits outside. Seriously, you can't take Lorelai anywhere. Lorelai takes a look at Digger's place. He asks her verdict. Lorelai notes that he doesn't have many knick-knacks. Digger says he doesn't need things that have no obvious purpose. I look at my dog bookends -- which have one tiny book on San Francisco between them -- and beg to differ. They sit next to two containers of coasters, a candle holder, a picture frame, and a plant. What else is a table for? Lorelai says that tchochkes are to make you smile, to make a room seem whimsical and fun. Digger says he has a clown come over once a week to make the room feel fun and whimsical, so he has it covered. Lorelai says she thought Digger had a dog. Digger points to his dog, who is sitting in front of the fireplace. No lie -- I totally thought it was a stuffed dog. But it's not. His name is Cyrus, and he's a real beagle, and I love this dog so much. He just kind of hangs out quietly, chillin', waiting around for...death, I guess. Lorelai says that Cyrus is cute, and "very still." "Yeah," Digger agrees. "He's the best." Heh. Digger says that Cyrus was trained by the Monks of New Skete, so he's incredibly well-behaved. He was housebroken in an hour. He has a two-bark minimum for delivery guys. Digger brags that he taught his dog very special commands that only his dog could know, instead of the standard "sit" and "stay." Cyrus understands "a little to the left." Digger demonstrates. Man, that's cute. Cyrus stands and moves one step to the left. Love it! Lorelai asks what that's good for. Apparently Lorelai doesn't have TiVo. "A little to the left" would come in handy here when I'm trying to change channels. Digger admits that Cyrus doesn't know "a little to the right"; he does "a little to the left" until Cyrus hits the wall, and then he turns him around. And yeah, this is the moment when I decide I like Digger. Sue me! I'm only so strong! At least he's more interesting than Max, and seems to be a bit kinder than Christopher. Lorelai calls both Digger and his dog extremely weird. "Thank you," says Digger. They kiss. "Thank you," Lorelai says. Cyrus is staring, so Lorelai wonders if they're setting a bad example. Digger spins one finger, and Cyrus turns around to face the wall. "Okay. Well, that one I get," Lorelai says.