I've never seen One Tree Hill, but every single promo has a brawl in it.
Luke's. Lane feeds Lane 2.0 a giant helping of chili cheese fries. That girl's skin is going to be very angry for the rest of the week. Lane 2.0 leans forward to pray. Lane tells her that she doesn't have to thank God every single time she gets served food, and that God gets it with, like, just a blanket thank-you. MfTL walks in and tells Lane that they got free passes to a band this weekend. Lane shouts her excitement. MfTL tells her that all they have to do is carry in all the equipment, and they get to see the show for free. Um.... Lane leaps into mfTL's arms and squeals. Dude, Lane, people are trying to eat. MfTL asks Lane if she's free for dinner that night. Lane says they'll discuss it when she gets home. He leaves.
Liz and T.J. enter Luke's. T.J. shouts to the entire diner that he's in escrow. But he pronounces it "es-ca-row." It will become the most annoying thing ever. Also: what a shitty day to eat at Luke's. Everybody's yelling about their personal lives. Luke can't believe that Liz and T.J. have bought a house. "It's white," T.J. says. Liz tells her brother they bought the first house they looked at. It hasn't been inspected. It needs a new roof. It's on a corner with room for a pool. It's air conditioner-ready, landscaper-ready, alarm-ready, and it'll have three bedrooms when they build on two. Sounds like my house. T.J. is so happy to be in "escarow" that he wants to make the coffee on the house. Get it? On the house? In real life, that escarow check you sign over is so scary that you don't want to buy anything ever again. And escarow is really scary because you still don't own the house yet. Liz asks Luke if he's really bugged that they're moving to Stars Hollow. Luke asks if T.J. even knows what "escrow" means. Liz says she doubts it, but that he's really happy. T.J. asks the diner for high-fives over his escarow. Liz beams, and Luke shakes his head.