Liz and T.J. enter Luke's. T.J. shouts to the entire diner that he's in escrow. But he pronounces it "es-ca-row." It will become the most annoying thing ever. Also: what a shitty day to eat at Luke's. Everybody's yelling about their personal lives. Luke can't believe that Liz and T.J. have bought a house. "It's white," T.J. says. Liz tells her brother they bought the first house they looked at. It hasn't been inspected. It needs a new roof. It's on a corner with room for a pool. It's air conditioner-ready, landscaper-ready, alarm-ready, and it'll have three bedrooms when they build on two. Sounds like my house. T.J. is so happy to be in "escarow" that he wants to make the coffee on the house. Get it? On the house? In real life, that escarow check you sign over is so scary that you don't want to buy anything ever again. And escarow is really scary because you still don't own the house yet. Liz asks Luke if he's really bugged that they're moving to Stars Hollow. Luke asks if T.J. even knows what "escrow" means. Liz says she doubts it, but that he's really happy. T.J. asks the diner for high-fives over his escarow. Liz beams, and Luke shakes his head.
Yale. Lorelai and Rory have a phone conversation to say that Lorelai doesn't have to come to Friday dinner. Lorelai says she doesn't know how she'll handle having her Friday night without Emily's cooking: "You might have to come over and force-feed me pickled herring and tell me what a disappointment I am." She tells Rory she can get her out of that Yale party if she wants. But Rory loves her role as snobby kiss-ass, and thinks that it's a good sign that Richard and Emily were in the same room asking her to come to the party, even though they were manipulating her together. Rory says they sounded happy, like they used to. She says she's sure she wants to go. Lorelai tells Rory to make sure Richard doesn't make her sing Whiffenpoof songs all night. She adds that she's sorry she won't see Rory. Rory says she'll come by Lorelai's afterward and spend the night so that Lorelai can take her shopping all day Saturday. Someone sure does like herself these days.
MfTL can't find the magazine he was reading for free at the newsstand. Amir, the newsguy, tells mfTL that they aren't supposed to be for free. Because we've missed her, MamaLane storms up and gives mfTL a speech that's so good, I'll just transcribe it. "You! You dirty, filthy devil-boy! You will pay for this. You will burn in hellfire for this. You will swim in the sludge with Satan's helldogs and feed them your innards for eternity!" MfTL looks like Crispin Glover when he's asking Biff to get his damn hands off Lorraine, and asks if this is about the magazine. MamaLane says that her daughter's an innocent girl, and mfTL's a wild pig of filth. MamaLane says she knows everything he does, and that he can't carry out his dirty, filthy schemes without her finding out. Kyon (Lane 2.0) told her about how he had his dirty, filthy hands on Lane. MfTL shakes his head, protesting, gesturing that he did no such thing. MamaLane swears that he will be punished, since that is what happens "to all swine who walk up tall." She runs away. MfTL is visibly shaken.