At the Yale paper, Paris is welcoming the staff back from break and laying out her rules and expectations as editor. Rory has the features beat, which...is that even a "beat"? Paris says that this term will change the history of the paper: "Nothing less than perfect will be tolerated. Please remember that I am your editor. I am not your mother, or your hugger. If you need some love, get a hooker. If you're having a bad day, find a ledge, or a way to deal. My door is not open to you, ever." Yeah, this is pretty much the speech Wing Chun gave me when I started writing these recaps. I don't know any hookers, though, so I have been hug-free this entire season. Thanks, Wing. ["I told you not to make eye contact." -- Wing Chun]
Rory thanks Paris for the features beat. "You deserve it," Paris says. "You're a good writer." Uncharacteristically sweet coming from Paris. Rory says she knows that Paris will be a good editor, but she, just maybe, might want to ease up on the staff. "I don't agree," Paris says. "Journalism is an art form and the best art is created under oppression, like Stalin's gulag. Do you think Solzhenitsyn could have written One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich on a yoga retreat?" Paris is the BEST. Rory does not have time to really respond to this, as Logan walks in. "Oh, great," Paris says. "I got a call saying your boyfriend was coming back." Rory sighs and says he's not her boyfriend, and that they broke up. "Hey," Paris says, "keep your personal stuff at home, okay? I can't be seen caring about this." She yells at Logan to come into her office and immediately gives him the verbal beatdown, telling him she's not afraid of him and does not care who his father, parents, family, or possibly scary cat is, that she's in charge. "Sorry," he says. Paris: "Oh, you will be."
Rory is showing her mom around her new digs, trying to strike the right note to distract Lorelai from seeing that it's a crackhouse. She's overdoing it, trying to make the place seem livable, and very cutely even tries to run the "doo-wop group" scam on Lorelai who is too busy noticing the multiple locks on the door. "You have some plutonium in there, or something?" she asks, to which Rory pshaws, and grandly opens the door. Rory: "Okay, welcome to my place." Lorelai: "No." Hee. Rory asks her to give it a chance, but Lorelai can't stop walking around, pointing and repeating, "No, no, no," especially when she opens the bedroom door to find Paris and Doyle dukeing it out, krav maga-style.