...leaving Rory and April face to face. How some crazy black hole doesn't open, causing the two of them to...HOLD ON! Now I think I get what the Paul Anka dream was all about! Maybe? Right? Rory's like the Real Paul Anka and April is like the Dog Paul Anka? Or vice versa, whatever. I mean, it cannot be argued that April IS the New Rory, so...y'all think about it. Like a kid will, April blurts that Rory has a great face. Rory thanks her, saying likewise. Luke finally has to introduce them, calling Rory an "old friend." April squints. "She doesn't look old," she says. Luke bumbles along, saying he's known Rory a long time, yada yada, and finally says that Rory is the daughter of "the woman I'm with; my fiancée. You met her that one time. It's kind of complicated." April looks momentarily confused, but quickly gets over it, especially when Luke refers to Freddy again as her boyfriend.
Jess reappears and takes Luke aside, presenting him with a copy of his book, along with a check. Luke asks what it's for. "It's what's owed," Jess says, to Luke's protest. "I owe you. Take it, and if you rip it up, I'm just going to send another one." Luke sighs. He tells Jess that he's very proud of him and what he's doing. "I don't get all of it," Luke says, "but...I'm me."
Back in the corner, the two Rories are still talking. April laments that she ever told Luke that she liked Freddy. She tells Rory it was nice meeting her.
Lorelai and Richard enter Luke's diner where, Lorelai complains, they'll probably not be able to get a table. They see Emily at a corner table, playing cards with a little girl. A nerdy, cute little girl, with brown hair and glasses. Oh my God. A THIRD Rory? I cannot keep up. Is Stars Hollow like a Brunette Children of the Corn? Emily is being super-sweet to the girl, playing Go Fish with her and letting her win. "You said she was smart," Emily says, "but this is something else." Lorelai's shoulders sink. "Mom," she says, "who do you think this is?" Emily: "Luke's daughter." Lorelai sighs, and has to break it to Emily that this is not, in fact, Luke's daughter. Emily is absolutely, hilariously incredulous. "And here I was," she says, "bonding with it." I have rewound this scene five times to hear her call the kid "it." She berates the child, asking her who she is. "Uh..." the kid says, probably scared. "Never mind, honey," Lorelai says, telling her that she should probably go home where "it's safe." Emily is furious: "It told me it was someone's daughter, here." Lorelai explains that she probably meant someone in town, not in the diner. "The little idiot kept tipping her cards so I could see them," Emily says, "and pretend that I didn't." Emily says she thought the kid was Luke's daughter, but Lorelai strenuously insists that she can be assured she will have no contact with Luke's daughter any time soon. "What does that mean?" Emily says. Lorelai: "It means that I don't even see her. Luke and I have an arrangement." Emily asks what kind of arrangement they have. "Well," Lorelai stutters, "he...I mean, we...mutually decided that I probably shouldn't have any contact with her." Emily is amazed by this: "That's ridiculous. You have to have a relationship with this girl. It's imperative." Lorelai argues that Emily doesn't know the whole story. "But I know your handiwork when I see it," Emily says. "Playing cautious when you should be diving in." She says that April is Luke's blood relation and that Lorelai needs to get to know her. "You'll be in her life," she says, "for the rest of your life." Frustrated, Lorelai says that it's not just her, but Emily barrels ahead, pretty much assuming that it's all Lorelai's idea to stay away from April. Emily is distracted, finally, wondering where Richard is. She leaves to find him at their next "appointment," pausing to attack Cesar for not clueing her in about Luke's non-daughter, the cardshark. Cesar runs away, saying that he hates customers, leaving Lorelai to stew sadly over this latest turn of events.