Gilmore Girls
The Real Paul Anka

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Back from commercials, Luke is passing out food orders at a roadside burger joint. He slides into a seat next to April, who is busy gossiping with her friends, and immediately interrupts them, saying that he knows the buzzers at their competition were rigged, and that he's lodging a protest. April has to take him aside for a private chat. She reveals, finally, that she likes Freddy. "Oh, well, I like him, too," Luke says. "He seems less insane than the others." April shakes her head. "I don't mean I like him the way you like him," she says. "I hope." She's totally cute about it, especially when it takes several more seconds for Luke to finally get it. "You sitting next to me all the time," she says, "is kind of getting in the way." She keeps having to remind Luke not to look at Freddy while he struggles to understand how it is that April likes Freddy when she never speaks to him. "That's the way it works!" she insists. "But you're always palling around with Kevin," he says. April sighs at his stupidity. "Kevin," she says, "makes me sick. You're overthinking this." And, yeah, for once, he is, whereas in his own relationship, he underthinks. April finally convinces Luke not to hang around her constantly, and goes back to her friends, leaving him to sigh and think, no doubt, that he has a lot to learn about this parenting thing. Too bad there isn't someone he could ask about what it's like to raise a twelve-year-old.

Rory arrives home to find Logan's dumb friends drinking and playing pool. "Okay that we're here, love?" Finn asks, showing unprecedented politeness. Logan jumps in before Rory can answer, saying that of course it's okay. "Logan," Finn responds, "I haven't called you 'love' since that sultry night in Bimini." Ha. That marks the first time I've liked Finn. Rory says that it's always fine for them to be there, and asks what they're up to. Colin explains that they're planning the ultimate Life and Death Brigade stunt. "Not only the ultimate," Finn says. "But the penultimate." Colin rolls his eyes, explaining that "penultimate" means "next-to-last." "I thought it meant super-ultimate," Finn says. The other friend whose name I forgot or never knew asks how Finn ever got into Yale. "Slept with the recruiter," Finn answers, shrugging. Well, that answers that. Rory brings them back around, asking for the details about the stunt. It's ridiculous, of course, and all about parachuting and base-jumping and rafting down disease-infested rivers, culminating in a huge party. Rory is skeptical about the safety of this whole plan, which offends Logan. "So," he says, "you came home just to piss on the fun?" Rory shoots back. "No," she says, crossing her arms, "I came home because I live here." The guys get the message and drunkenly leave.

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Gilmore Girls

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