Gilmore Girls
The Road Trip to Harvard

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Responsibility's For Suckers!

Room #3 is filled with flowered wallpaper, and Lorelai is unhappy. She starts bitching about the seemingly free room immediately. Rory and Lorelai rudely grimace and moan. Lorelai asks whether the flowers on the wall are moving. LaDonn says it looks like they are because they put foil behind the wallpaper or something like that. LaDonn asks Lorelai what business she's in. "Publishing," Lorelai lies. LaDonn coos that publishing is so interesting. She hands Lorelai the activity list and tells the girls they can come down to chat whenever they want because she loves company. LaDonn leaves. Lorelai walks over to Rory and delivers the worst line ever written and delivered: "Okay, I think we just found the first room in history of the world that would make Liberace go, 'Whoa. Step back. No one's that gay.'" I hope Lauren Graham's rushed and humorless delivery was because she was hoping the line would get cut. Rory finds the guest room book and reads from it. "This room made my soul soar," someone said. The girls moan. Lorelai says it's time to go find some food. Rory's happy to go because she's starving.

Lorelai stops at the top of the stairs, holding Rory back. "Dentists," Lorelai moans. "Boston dentists. Cocktail hour at The Cheshire Cat." Lorelai says they can't go down there. Rory asks why they can't just run through: "They're not assassins." Lorelai points out that if they go down there, they'll get caught in "mind-numbing, soul-deadening chit-chat," something Lorelai for some reason doesn't want to do anymore. What happened to that sense of adventure, girl? ["I know! She's already come up with a cover story; you'd think she'd want to work that whole publishing lie." -- Wing Chun] Rory says she's starving, and that she's going down there. Lorelai asks whether Rory's hungry enough to answer a hundred only slightly differing questions about Chilton, life in a small town, and her "hunky, hunky boyfriend." Rory goes back up to the room and Lorelai follows her. No closing joke. End of scene.

Lorelai is rummaging through her bag and finds Certs. You know, the first thing they would have bought on a road trip is food, as evidenced by the sacks of nuts they bought a few hours ago. Lorelai says she can't remember the last time she bought Certs. She says that they are fuzzy. This almost-a-joke brought to you by Certs. Rory sits in the bed with Lorelai. Something happens downstairs; I can't really tell what it is, but it's got Rory and Lorelai pissed off. They complain about the three hours of group activities planned downstairs, in which they aren't involving themselves, and Lorelai hopes that the group is going to finish it off with a mass suicide. Rory points out that they get cranky when they're hungry. You think? "Plus we're above everyone else on the planet," Lorelai says. "Clearly," Rory agrees. They think about going to sleep, but it's not quite 8:30 yet and they aren't sleepy. Lorelai says they could sing "Anarchy in the UK" at the top of their lungs. Rory opts for talking about Max. Lorelai says she doesn't want to talk about that. She gets inside the covers with all of her clothes on and says, "Good night, Rory." She turns off the light. Rory turns the light back on and asks Lorelai whether she's just running scared. She says she thinks Lorelai really loves Max, but is just scared. Lorelai turns the light off. Rory turns it back on and points out that Lorelai did this with Max before. Lorelai sits up and says, "Rory. I don't want to talk about this." They bicker about whether now is the right time to have this conversation and which one of them is more mature and whether Rory is Lorelai's best friend. Rory asks why this happened. Lorelai says she changed her mind. Rory says that this is their lives that Lorelai just "tossed off." Lorelai says she didn't toss off anything. Okay, road-trip girl. Rory says they made space in the closet and made plans for Max to move in. She says she was counting on this. Lorelai says they're not having this argument right now in flowered sheets while dentists sing "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" in the background because it's too David Lynch. Lorelai flops down on the bed again as Rory shouts that she thinks Lorelai loves Max. Rory says she thinks that Lorelai is going to regret all of this soon. Lorelai shouts Rory's name again, and Rory turns off the light. She flops into the bed. They both lie on their backs silently and angrily. "I'm sure," Lorelai says quietly. "I wish I did love him. You have no idea how much." Rory kisses Lorelai's cheek. Commercial.

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Gilmore Girls

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