Lorelai and Rory casually walk through a section of grass so that Rory can stop and shout, "Oh, my!" It's a library, and for some reason Rory freaks out like she's never seen a library before, and then freaks out because it's just one of Harvard's libraries, as if she's never heard of a college before. Lorelai continues the Harvard ad, as I think about a friend I had in college who had a goal of never setting foot in any of our libraries. He made me go and look up a book for him once just so he'd never break his rule. He didn't graduate, by the way, so don't try that at home, kids. Rory freaks out that she's never read thirty million books like Harvard has, and that she's stupid. She keeps whining that she's never going to be ready for Harvard. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Rory says she sleeps too much and she sucks. Nine. Ten.
Hollis Hall, the sign reads. "Residents Only." Not for Lorelai and Rory, who decide just to walk into a dorm. Is there no security guard? We couldn't even have a boy in the dorm unescorted or they'd call campus security on him. Eleven. Twelve.
Inside the dorm, Rory says they're going to get in trouble. Lorelai talks to two girls in the dorm, pretending that they're students. It's embarrassing, and the girls are embarrassed for her. Rory points out that all of Lorelai's college-age jargon comes from Happy Days and Valley Girl. Hee. Oh, God. Lorelai finds an open dorm room and decides to walk inside it to see what it looks like. She calls out the name "Suzie," saying that will be their cover if they get caught. She notes that the room is tiny. She says that it has two beds, so she can visit. Rory says that's for her roommate. Lorelai complains that you shouldn't just get forced a roommate. Blah, blah, blah roommate banter about how to deal with bad roommates. We'll ignore it. Lorelai then makes Rory sit down at a desk, go through some poor girl's stuff, and pretend it's hers so Lorelai can take a picture. I'm increasingly worried for Rory, since she one day wants to go to this school and might not want a trespassing record on her so early in life. She's sitting on some stranger's bed! Ew! It's not made! Get out of there! Lorelai keeps correcting Rory's pose for the picture until I'm too uncomfortable to watch. This is so rude. If I walked into my dorm room and two strangers were there taking pictures, I'd scream my ass off. Steal the iBooks, Rory. Lorelai and Rory bump into the girl who lives in the dorm room as they walk out. "Oh, hey, Suzie," Lorelai says and they walk off. Suzie stands there for way too long to give an enormous "okay" look that's as obvious as Sammy the cat.