Although I miss watching Gilmore Girls, I never really miss recapping it. The WPM here is phenomenal. I realize that just when my fingernails are starting to grow out and get pretty, the show's hiatus ends, and by the end of the teaser, I'm back down to stubby nubs. I have to choose between Amy Sherman-Palladino and a manicure. It's not an easy choice, y'all.
Luke's. Construction. Luke tries to serve food to people while dodging workmen. Just as he serves two plates of food, pieces of the roof crumble and pile on the table. Instead of clearing the plates and starting over, Luke just offers free coffee to the patient patrons. He brings over another coffee cup to one of the men even though they both already have coffee cups. He recommends sitting with their hands over their coffee cups. Luke storms over to the worst extra in Gilmore Girls history to ask what the hell is going on upstairs. Horrible Extra (now known as the "H-to-the-E") tells Luke that they're renovating the apartment upstairs. Luke grits his teeth and scowls that his customers are having drywall omelets out there. H-to-the-E says, "Oh, well, that can't be good." Luke says that H-to-the-E promised "minimal disruptions." H-to-the-E says that this is minimal disruptions. It's like they had to do all of H-to-the-E's scenes five times and they spliced together the best takes. H-to-the-E asks Luke to sign some papers authorizing more work. Seems they knocked down a wall and found some pipes that shouldn't be there. They have to move the pipes once they determine what the pipes do. "You're kidding, right?" Luke moans. H-to-the-E says, "Oh, yeah. There's nothing I like more than a good 'moving a pipe' joke." See, my roommate should totally have been hired to play this guy. H-to-the-E is way too stiff. Luke says they have one more week. H-to-the-E says that construction ultimatums are even funnier than moving-the-pipe jokes.
Rory and Lorelai enter and sit. Lorelai complains that the place is a mess. Luke tells the girls that they can't sit there. He says that three people have already been nailed in the head there. Then why keep the table there, Luke? Lorelai gets a cell-phone call, and Luke orders her outside. Lorelai says that if she sits there for another second she just might be outside. Lorelai tells Rory to order her coffee (is that even a necessary statement?) and walks off. Jess, wearing a construction hat, walks up and opens an umbrella over Rory's head. Bad luck? Not when the ceiling falls all around Rory and the umbrella saves her from a case of Broca's aphasia. Why does Luke even have the restaurant open? Why not put the tables outside for a change? Why do I care this much?