Gilmore Girls
They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They?

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 7 USERS: A+

Ten after 5. Still six couples standing. Taylor's asleep on his podium. The band plays slow music. Rory shifts in Dean's arms and says, "He's still there." She's suddenly very awake, angry that Jess is still staring at her. CuteDean lowers his head back, keeping his mouth shut again. Jess is actually reading a book now, while Probawhore sleeps. Rory says that this is a dance marathon, and you're not supposed to come to sit and watch -- you're supposed to dance. But weren't you planning to come and sit and watch, Rory? She says Jess is just there to bug her. She calls him a jerk. Probawhore sits up and tells Jess she's bored. "Okay," he says. He puts the book down and they start making out. This enrages Rory, who shouts, "There they go again! God! I swear! Why can't they just get a room!" She says they don't even need a room -- they could have a park bench or a sturdy pole: "I mean, girls like Shane? What is it with them? Don't they see what they look like? I know they have mirrors." I wish Dean would dance her to the other side of the room, away from Jess and tell her to stop talking about him.

Jess shouts at this point: "Hey! You talking about me?" Rory: "No." Jess: "I heard you talking about Shane." "Shane isn't you," Rory says. "Shane concerns me," Jess says. "Shane concerns me, too," Rory says. "And all women, for that matter," she adds. Jess asks if there's a problem. Rory says she's a little sick of seeing him sitting there. She asks them why they won't just leave. Probawhore: "That works for me. Let's go." "No," says Jess. "Why not?" Rory asks. Jess says he's not ready to go. He's going to sit there as long as he likes and he's going to do whatever he likes. He says that if Rory doesn't like it, she can just ignore him and pay attention to her boyfriend. "Sorry. She can't," CuteDean says, taking Rory's wrist from behind his head. Oh, man. CuteDean finally gets his say: "I'm not her boyfriend anymore." Jess sits up, enthralled. He's finally getting what he's always wanted. CuteDean finally gets to say words in an order for long enough to be considered sentences and complete thoughts. He speaks for us all: "You know, I tried to ignore this. I really did. But I don't know what the hell I was thinking. You don't want to be with me, Rory." Rory says she does. "Oh, please," CuteDean spits. "You have been into him since he came to town. And I've spent weeks -- months actually --" (It's really more like a year, though) "trying to convince myself that it wasn't true -- that everything was fine between us. But now I know that I was an idiot. You're into him and he's into you and Shane -- who, by the way, should be listening to this, because it's so damn obvious." Rory asks what she did. You kissed Jess, for one. At least poor CuteDean doesn't have to know that. "Everyone can see, Rory!" CuteDean shouts. "Everyone! And I'm tired. But I'm over it. So go ahead. Go. Be together. There's nothing standing in your way now, 'cause I'm out." CuteDean coolly but slowly gets his jacket and strolls out of the cafeteria. Notice how Rory doesn't move a muscle, doesn't say a word, not one syllable of protest. Notice how we're never going to see CuteDean again. Oh, CuteDean, I hope that Untitled Jared Padalecki Project comes through, and I hope it means you get to be Über-boyfriend somewhere else. I will miss Dean Forester. Taylor wakes up enough to notice that Rory's standing still and not flashing a yellow card. Isn't Lorelai supposed to be in the room, sitting on some bleachers with Luke? Where is she? Taylor can't remember Rory's name right now, but he remembers enough to badger her until she walks away.

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Gilmore Girls




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